Page 70 of Necessary Cruelty

“I read somewhere that people who cut use it as a coping mechanism, like a release valve. You weren’t very good at hiding the scars. And they were always low on your arms, places where slicing too deep could mean the end. I would have told you to stop that shit if I thought you’d listen. Instead, I found another way.” His smile is humorless as he takes another pull from the vape. “Just like everything else, if I do it, then it takes all the fun away.”

This is why talking to him is a bad idea. Vin knows how to twist things, confuse me until I’m not sure if I remember parts of my own history correctly.

I hate it.

I hate him, even when I feel other things just as strongly.

“The kind of person I’m talking about wouldn’t do that.” If I don’t steel myself against him, then I’ll drown in the ocean of his personality. “It doesn’t matter what the reason is.”

“You know what also does damage. Nicotine. I read somewhere that one of these cartridges is the same as two packs of cigarettes. No matter how good it tastes, really makes me wonder what this shit does to your lungs.” He takes another pull from his vape pen. “Let’s call it an eye for an eye.”

Does he smoke at times aside from when he is hurting me or being obviously self-destructive? I can’t remember well enough to say.

A pang hits my chest that I try to ignore. I don’t want to weaken where Vin Cortland is concerned.

But it almost sounds like he thinks he hurts me to save me from hurting myself even worse, and then punishes himself for doing it.

There is a twisted sort of caring in that, even though it’s absolutely ridiculous.

And might even be another lie.

“You’ve never been nice to me, not even before we were enemies.” At this point, I’m reminding both of us. I can’t fall under the spell he is trying to cast. “You can’t expect me to think that will change.”

“You can’t tell me what you want and then not even give me the chance to give it to you. Want to walk down the halls of the school holding my hand while chattering to everyone who crosses your path. Fuck it. Fine.”

A tingling sensation starts up on the back of my neck. “And you’ll do whatever it takes to help Zion?”

He gives a heavy sigh as if the subject has grown tiresome and collapses back against the windshield. “I already said I would.”

I can’t fight the impulse to say something about the bitchy elephant in the proverbial room. “I saw you kiss Sophia.”

He glowers at the bright horizon. “Would have been hard to miss.”

“Did you do more with her than kiss that night?”

“Why do you care?” His gaze sweeps over me as he asks. “You made it clear you weren’t interested.”

“And you put on that little display for my benefit, right? I want to know how far you took it, how much you’re willing to use people when it suits you.” I don’t want to say out loud that I’m also asking because of jealousy, but that feeling is there. At least I can admit it to myself. “The kind of person who would treat a girl like that, even Sophia, isn’t someone I can marry.”

Vin settles back with his eyes closed, as if trying to say this conversation is boring him to sleep. “Nothing else happened, okay. I took her home right after we left. I just wanted you to think it was something more. Happy?”

He doesn’t look at me, which makes it impossible to tell if he’s lying.

“I guess.”

“Anything else?” he asks, voice sardonic.

But I just shake my head. All of the anger has completely drained away at this point, leaving me resigned. “All I have to do is stay married to you for a year, and then we go our separate ways?”

He glares at the distant horizon. “That’s it.”

“Fine,” I grouse, already regretting it.

Abruptly, Vin jumps to his feet. “Let’s go.”

He hustles me back into the car as if a fire has suddenly been lit under him. I don’t understand the sudden rush as he guns the engine and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Where are we going?”

He looks at me like I’m an idiot. “To the D.A.’s office. Your brother isn’t getting out of jail until someone talks to him.”

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