Page 55 of Necessary Cruelty

He wants something from me, and that gives me power over him. It’s not much, but it’s more than I’ve ever had.

“Says the guy who has to break into people’s houses to get laid.”

“But consent isn’t Jakey’s problem, is it?” Vin muses, ignoring my barb. “His problem is that kissing him felt like doing a favor for your sad friend. Something you do out of pity because you feel bad saying no.”

Despite all the things we’ve done, the things I’ve let him do, Vin and I have never kissed. That always felt like a line that couldn’t be crossed, an intimacy neither of us wanted to share with the other.

There was one time when he showed up drunk enough to try, but he didn’t force the issue when I turned away. He didn’t seem to remember anything about it the next day, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to remind him.

Vin is guilty of a lot of things, but he has always listened when I said no.

Too bad there can’t be redemption for the devil. Some people are past saving.

I force myself to laugh derisively, hating that he isn’t entirely wrong. “You don’t just sound like you have no idea what you’re talking about. You sound jealous.”

“And you sound like a liar,” Vin laughs, but chaos swirls in his eyes. He takes a menacing step closer. “Tell me the truth. Tell me he lit you up, set you on fire. Make me believe it, and I’ll let you walk out of here right now.”

If I was scared before, then I don’t have words for whatever it is I’m feeling now. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“We’re not leaving this room until you tell me the truth. And the longer you wait, the more time I have to think of creative ways to torture you. Maybe I’ll start by tying you to that wheelchair, see what you think of being trapped in it like I was.”

I’ve never been able to lie to Vin, not when we were children, and not now. Even though I’ve made pathetic attempts in the past, he has always been able to see right through it. I have to make the choice between speaking truth and not speaking at all.

Up until now, he let me have that choice.

But things have changed.

“Jake Tully is the most amazing kisser on the planet,” I say defiantly. “Kissing him was all shooting stars and fireworks. If I could spend the rest of my life tongue fighting him, I would.”

“Liar. Although, it’s cute you care enough about Jake’s feelings to try.”

Vin takes another step forward, pushing firmly into my personal space until the front of our bodies almost touch. The space between us is full of electricity and heat.

“What did your grandfather think about his new bed?”

The abrupt change in subject knocks me off balance, which is precisely what he wants.

“Anything is better than a twenty-year-old La-Z-Boy, but you already knew that. Take it back, if you want, because nothing has changed. You could knock down my house and build a mansion twice as big as Cortland Manor in its place, and that still wouldn’t change anything. You can’t buy me.”

“I can buy anything I want. It’s just a matter of how much it will take.” His hand raises to within an inch of my face, but stops just short of touching. Then he twists a hank of my hair in his fingers and pulls hard enough to make me wince. “What the hell is this?”

His mood changes are giving me whiplash. “What?”

“Your hair. What the hell happened to it?”

“I straightened it. You know, that thing that pretty much every girl does when she dresses up. I know it looks nice, so fuck off.”

I hate that he can make me feel self-conscious, because I don’t want to care what he thinks about anything. But my hair is a sore spot, the thing that has caused me more angst than anything else. Every time I look in a mirror, years’ worth of insults run through my head.

Nappy.

Brillo pad.

All the times someone claimed not to be able to tell the difference between it and pubic hair.

And the one time I try my best to tame it, to become something approaching traditional beauty, Vin has to take the opportunity to tear me down a little further. It shouldn’t bother me because I know he’s an asshole, but it still does.

Except his tone isn’t exactly mocking as he rubs the strand between his fingers. “I like it better the other way. This is boring as hell.”

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