Page 130 of Necessary Cruelty

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

I glare at him, wishing the nurses had left something heavy in reach for me to bash across his skull. “I’m not pregnant. False positive, apparently.”

“Too bad.”

“Excuse me?”

“You and Vin are good for each other when one or both of you has your head out of your ass long enough to realize it.”

I just stare at him, too shocked for anger. “Vin has been torturing me for years.”

“To be fair, you did try to kill him when you guys were kids.”

Clearly, Vin doesn’t tell him everything. If what my mother did isn’t common knowledge yet, I’m not about to change that. “That isn’t an excuse for everything he’s done since.”

“Vin Cortland has been obsessed with you for years. You should have seen his face when he realized that the pretty girl from the Gulch that all the guys were talking about freshman year was Zaya Milbourne. He almost knocked my teeth out once when I mentioned you have a nice ass.” Iain’s voice is matter-of-fact, like I can take the compliment or shove it up my ass and it wouldn’t matter to him either way. “Why do you think any guy who gets within five feet of you is putting his life on the line? Vin made you off-limits for anyone but him.”

“So what? You’re saying Vin Cortland has secretly been in love with me since freshman year?”

“He’s been in love with you since elementary school. You don’t get this obsessed over a girl that you don’t care about. Vin isn’t the type to work out his keen sense of betrayal in a healthy way. He was raised by an absentee father and a narcissistic social climber. For him, love has always been the same as suffering. Feelings aren’t his forte.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “But they’re yours?”

He shrugs. “Just because I don’t have the capacity to feel something doesn’t mean I don’t know the name for it, or how to recognize it when I see it. Vin has it bad, he always has, which explains the vast majority of his behavior over the years.”

I get that hollow feeling in my chest again, like a hole waiting to be filled with something besides pain. “That isn’t an excuse for anything he did.”

“I’m not excusing him. Walk away from him and never look back if that’s what you want to do. But do it with some honesty.” Iain starts backing out of the room. This is more words than I’ve ever heard him string together before, which explains the exhaustion written across his face. “Both of you walk around like open wounds, bleeding your shit all over the place. Either let the injuries you inflicted heal, or get the fuck away from each other.”

* * *

I takea cab to Cortland Manor, arguing with myself the entire way there.

It’s crazy that I would even consider giving Vin a chance to explain himself. After so many lies and secrets, I shouldn’t ever want to see him again.

But here I am.

Letting Iain into my room was a bad idea. Now that the smallest seed of doubt has been planted, I can’t get the idea out of my head. I’ve spent the last few hours replaying every interaction Vin and I have ever had for some hint that I had gotten them wrong. And all I see is anger and hatred.

Then I think about the last few weeks, when I saw a side of Vin I never knew existed.

I tell myself I just want to hear him say it. I need to hear directly from him that Iain is full of shit and that he has never loved me.

Otherwise, the possibility will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Because I have always loved him, even when I hated him.

It’s completely dark when the cab finally winds its way up the long private road leading to Cortland Manor. There are no lights to use to navigate, and my heart is in my throat as I rush down the stone pathway.

The pool house is deserted when I get there, no sign that Vin has been there since we left before our vow renewal, which was almost three days ago now.

I don’t have any choice but go into the main house.

Cortland Manor is as silent as the grave and only slightly warmer. When I call Vin’s name, my voice echoes off the walls before fading away into more silence. I take the stairs two at a time and yell for him again when I get to the second floor.

Giselle appears in an open doorway at the end of the hall.

“I’m so sorry no one came to the door to greet you. Most of the staff is off for the week after working your reception.” She approaches me slowly, bright red nails caressing the wooden banister. “If you’re looking for Vin, I haven’t seen him since last night. I hope there isn’t any trouble in paradise.”

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