Page 105 of Necessary Cruelty

“Vin…” His name is a plea, but I have no idea what I’m asking him for.

“Tell me the truth, Zaya.” He shifts so his mouth rests just above mine. The hand he has over my throat presses down harder. “Tell me why you never fought me off when I crawled into your bed at night. Tell me why every time I’ve touched you, you’ve been wetter than diving into an ocean wave. Tell me you’ve always wanted me to own you.”

“I’ve always wanted you,” I breathe out on a sigh, not realizing until I say it that it’s the truth. My throat pushes harder against his hand when I swallow back any more words that sound like love. I know he doesn’t want to hear them, and I’m too aroused to decide if I’m only thinking them because his fingers are teasing at my clit. “You have always owned me.”

“I’ve spent so much time thinking up ways to hurt you, and now I have you here with me and my mind won’t stop whirling with possibilities. I want to hurt you.” The harsh words are completely at odds with the slow plunge of his fingers in and out of me. They pull out to tease at the top of my opening before pushing in again. The sensation he creates is as far removed from pain as anything can be. “It takes everything I have not to break you in half.”

He broke me a long time ago. It’s only now that he has ever tried to put me back together. But I will always be the rag doll knitted together at the seams. His broken doll.

I can’t handle any more talk, not when it leaves a feeling like broken glass in the pit of my stomach. Vin will never be able to love me, not after everything that has happened. Allowing myself — even for a moment — to treat this as anything by temporary will just lead to more pain.

And I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.

I manage to free one hand and press my palm over the back of the hand he holds to my throat. “Then hurt me.”

Without warning, he slaps me hard on the pussy.

My hips buck off the couch. He shoves those same wet fingers in my mouth to stifle a desperate cry. The pain is gone as quickly as it appeared, but the shock of it leaves me gasping.

Vin pulls away just long enough to roll on a condom that practically appears out of thin air. He is back on top of me before I have the chance to decide if I want to be the dozenth girl that he has fucked on this couch.

Next thing I know, my face is buried in the couch and my ass is in the air. He grips my hips and buries himself inside of me again with enough force that it nearly bowls us both over.

He slaps my ass once. Then twice. Then again and again, until each strike matches the rhythm of his thrusts and my backside blazes with heat.

And pain.

Tears prick my eyes, nose burning, as he fucks me. The spanking isn’t that painful, it shouldn’t be enough to make me cry. But the tears come anyway, starting out as a few drops that quickly becomes a wracking sob.

If anything, crying seems to make him rougher. He doesn’t ask if I’m okay, doesn’t hesitate when I make desperate noises underneath him. But I’m moving with him. My hips rock back to meet each one of his thrusts, even when it means that the tip of him bottoms out inside me, striking hard against my womb in a way that could be either pleasure or pain.

The pain is a release I didn’t know I needed.

“You like this?” he asks. The words are completely unnecessary considering that he must feel my flesh shivering around him with impending orgasm. He slaps my ass again. “Show me how much.”

I say the only thing that seems to make sense. “Harder.”

Vin takes me precisely at my word.

His hands clench tight on my inflamed skin as he pounds into me as hard and as fast as he can. I come like an explosion that sends every particle of my consciousness shooting off into space. I come apart under his hands, every piece of me shaking and quivering with my need for him.

Vin collapses on top of me with a low groan. His mouth moves over my back, peppering soft kisses along the skin as I float in a dreamlike haze. Maybe this is a dream. I’m going to wake up in my own bed to see him sitting there in the dark, rage and hate in his eyes.

His hands are anything but hate-filled as he gently lifts me in his arms and carries me to the bed. He lays me gently down in his bed, a place I never in my life thought I would be, and pulls the blanket up to my chin.

He shuts off the light, but doesn’t climb into bed with me. “Sleep.”

I’m dimly aware of the fact that I’ve never heard of any girl spending the night in Vin’s bed, not even Sophia.

I wonder if I’m the first.

My hand pushes out from under the covers. I hold it out to the shapeless form that I can barely see in the dark.

I don’t have to see his face to sense the hesitation.

He doesn’t move for a long time, likely hoping I’ve fallen asleep, but he doesn’t say no. I’m still surprised when he crosses the narrow room and climbs into bed beside me.

It has been the longest day of my life, but sleep is elusive. When I wake up, yesterday will have been my wedding day. I’m not ready for tomorrow, when the reality of it finally comes crashing down on me.

The diamond on my finger glints in the meager light, reminding me I no longer know who I am anymore.

My breath is slow and even, but I’m still awake hours later when his arm drapes over my waist and he settles against my back. His lips tickle the back of my neck. I resist giving any reaction that might make him pull away.

I’ve never been so completely broken apart.

I can only hope that at some point he plans to put me back together.

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