Vin is already on the beach, but far enough away that I can’t make out his face under the night sky. The only light out here is from a full moon hiding behind dark clouds. I don’t need to be close to know it’s him. No one else would stride down the sand of a public beach like he owns the entire world.
I turn away to face the endless black of a dark horizon. There may be distant lights from our small town behind me, but I can no longer see them. All I have to do is take a few final steps into oblivion, and it will all be over. I wade further into the water, licking cold creeping up my thighs and then my waist, forcing myself to take painful steps forward even as my heart pounds in my chest.
“Zaya,” he calls again, voice sounding more desperate than I’ve ever heard it.
He can’t see me in the dark, might even walk right past and never know, as long as I don’t say a word. But that doesn’t stop him from shouting his promises into the wind, begging me to give him another chance to prove himself.
Vin has never broken a promise to me, because I’ve never expected him to make any.
I don’t want to believe it’s possible for him to change. Belief requires hope. And hope forces you to pick yourself up so life can kick you right back down again.
I don’t have the strength left to hope.
Eventually, he’ll go away and I can finish this.
Except I underestimate both his vision and the flash of my off-white dress against the dark water. His feet slap on the shallow water as he starts toward me, but he still isn’t close enough to reach me in time. I just have to force myself to move fast enough.
He shouts my name, screams it, until his throat sounds like it is going hoarse.
Soon he’ll be on top of me, grabbing me, forcing me out of the water and back to the shore. If I’m going to choose, then it has to be right now. The time for indecision has long passed.
I have to make a choice.
Stay and fight, give him the chance to build me up so he can tear me down all over again.
Or let it all just float away with the tide, taking a lifetime of pain away with it.
I have to decide.