Page 34 of Her Dragon Outlaw

It wears on him over the next few days as I heal up enough to leave. Even though he stays chipper on the surface, inside there is a swirling mass of doubt that comes out in little ways. He stares into the distance. He makes less small talk. His mood is dour. If only there was some way to relieve him of it. If only I could pull the burden from his shoulders and carry it myself.

I want to kiss him again but I am full of doubt myself. What if, now that this mess is over, we have to go our separate ways? What if he does not want to continue what we have? Having sex in the forest fills my mind and I ache for him again. It may never happen again. This may be it for us. If only I could kiss him again, then it would all be worth it.

The investigation is still ongoing to find the last few remaining shifters, but our adventure is over. We do not get another chance to be with each other and I am too weak to do much anyway. I wish I was stronger. Maybe I could have defended myself—if I had magic like Stella’s, I would use it to help myself, not hurt other people. I might have been able to protect myself, and then I would not be too weak to tell Cody how I really feel.

What is worse, my sister still has not been in touch. I get that she is recovering—trust me, no one knows more than me how much she needs it—but I expected at least a text by now. It would be nice to know she is recovering well. All I have received are sporadic messages from our mother asking about what is going on. How am I supposed to tell either of them I almost died, after my sister almost died? This whole thing is a mess I cannot even begin to sort out.

As much as I try not to let them, these thoughts plague me as Cody drives me back to my apartment. The nighttime presses on us like a force, similar to how we came here last time, but somehow so different. In just a matter of days, everything has changed. Almost like a Taylor Swift song, except I am pretty sure she never faced down a homicidal witch.

Cody pulls up in the parking lot. We were silent the whole drive and now we are here there are so many things I want to say. They cycle through my head on an endless loop. How am I supposed to make words when everything has changed so much I do not even know whether up is up or down is down?

I glance over to Cody. He keeps his hands on the steering wheel, staring through the windshield at something I cannot see.

“So.”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Thanks for saving my life and everything.”

He turns to me with a sad smile. “Thanks for letting me.”

“Oh, come off it. I wouldn’t have stood a chance against her. She was so powerful!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You can take it—“ I start to say before I stop myself. “Yeah. So.”

“So.”

He reaches over me and into the glove compartment of the car. The smell of his cologne, and underneath it the musk of his body, overpowers me. I feel myself quiver downstairs, my pussy clenching as though he’s about to fuck me right in this car. Oh, how I wish. How I wish this could happen again, that it could go on forever.

But it can’t.

He hands me an envelope. “It’s your check for your informant work. You did a really good job. Best informant I’ve ever worked with.”

I bite back a retort—something along the lines of how I hope no one has ever given it to him as good as I have. What makes me think of these things? I must be insane. I am not usually this amorous, but maybe he brings it out in me.

I take the envelope reluctantly but put on a brave smile. “Thanks. I really need the money, especially after missing so much work.”

“You earned it.” He clears his throat. “Okay. Bye.”

His sudden shift in tone leaves me heartbroken. Why is he like this? “Okay, cool. I’ll see you around, then.”

I get out of the car and slam the door behind me. I have to find some way to cover my sadness, but I cannot help but look through the window at him. Honestly, he looks like he’s doing the same thing as me—hiding his sadness. He leaves quickly, practically screeching off into the night. My anger at him leaving us this way and my sadness at him leaving full-stop battle for dominance in my brain. How am I supposed to deal with any of it? I wish I could talk to my sister about this. She is the only other person I trust.

As I walk through the door of my apartment, the crushing sadness wins out. It seems to leech life from my bones and strips my lungs of air. I collapse into the chair nearest the door with my head in my hands, my shoulders heaving as I sob. The cheque in my hand scrunches as I grasp onto it too tightly. I wish I could trade it for one more moment with him.

29

CODY

It’s late by the time I get home. I shut the door behind me harder than I meant, throw my keys on the counter and lean back against the wall, closing my eyes. All I can think of is Lori, laughing and soaked from our swim in the lake, the gold of her hair in the sunlight, the sweetness of her voice as we moved together.

The hurt in those blue eyes as I told her goodbye. The way her expression closed down, cool and polite. How could I do that to her? I’ve never known a woman like her before. I can’t help but question myself.

Was I right to give her up? To let my past keep haunting me?

I push off the wall, flicking on the lights with a grim determination. I can’t start doubting now. I have to stick to my decision. Stay focused, go to work, and let her disappear into the past. A fond memory. I can do that.

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