Page 42 of Take My Hand

Me: I may or may not have tried to carry everything inside at once and then promptly dropped everything on the front step…and then cussed out my backdrop as it tried to roll away

Hayden: oh I will 100% be looking back through the feed thank you in advance for your entertainment

Hayden: also sorry interview is running late I’ll be home soon

Me: no worries! I still have to set up so take your time

As I look out the window at the city stretching in front of me, my heart can’t help but skip a beat at the incredible view. So much promise, so much beauty. There was a time not too long ago when I thought I might get swallowed up and spit back out by it, but setting up my very own studio in this amazing space, about to do a shoot with Hayden, I know I’m going to be okay.

I brought over some of my larger items, like reflectors and tripods earlier in the week since my car doesn’t have that much space. So today, all I needed to bring was my camera, the backdrop, and a box of mirrors that I thrifted.

After Hayden agreed to do a shoot for me, my mind went wild with ideas. It’s been so long since I’ve done portrait work and my brain has been stockpiling concepts, just waiting for the right opportunity.

But as I lay in bed the other night, I realized I didn’t want to overcomplicate it all. Hayden is alluring within his own right with his dark, contemplative eyes and black hair that hangs over his forehead to cover them now and then. His bone structure is one people would kill for and I already know how well it looks in a photo.

And this is not some fashion shoot. His body is a work of art in and of itself, so I want to let his tattoos do the talking.

I got the idea of putting him in the center of a white backdrop with mirrors around him, capturing and reflecting his angles. Not just the ones my camera can get in a single shot.

I ran the idea by him and although he seemed hesitant at first, which I think had more to do with the idea that he was doing this photoshoot at all, he liked the concept. He said something about reflection and how you can’t hide from what it tells you.

I grab the backdrop and carefully unroll part of it. The stand I bought was easy to assemble but now as I’m sitting here staring at it, I’m beginning to think I should’ve attached the backdrop before I finished putting it all together because now the top of the stand and hooks where I can loop the backdrop through are well above my reach.

Resting it on the floor, I venture out into the house in search of a step ladder. I come up short and grab a barstool from the lounge area downstairs instead. I don’t want to text Hayden and ask him where he might have one and interrupt the interview. The band is slotted for a late-night show appearance in a few weeks and they had to pre-record one of the segments today for it.

Carrying the barstool into the room, I settle it in front of the stand and tiptoe over to the other side of the room to grab my phone. Pulling up my music app, I connect to Hayden’s sound system and put on Sleep Token’s Take Me to Eden album.

The opening notes of the first and my favorite song ring out, and I turn the volume up, letting it echo through the space.

I grab the backdrop and place one hand on the back of the barstool, the decorative metal biting into my palm. I push up, placing my other foot next to the planted one and staying crouched for a moment, checking my balance. When I feel steady, I extend my legs and stand.

If I reach out far enough, the tips of my fingers can graze the wall, but it’s not enough to rely on if I need to grab something for balance. The muscles in my legs strain as the cushion below me squishes with the slightest movement and isn’t a steady surface at all.

Better make this quick.

I lift the backdrop up, and the bottom slowly unravels to give me enough length to be able to hang it. I get the left side hooked in as well as the hooks toward the center. The right end is just out of reach, so I climb down and move the stool to the other side to repeat the process.

Just as I’ve gained my balance once again and am about to get it hooked, a voice startles me, and I jump, my arms forgetting about the task in front of me and instead flailing out to my sides, trying to keep my body centered.

“Carter!” Hayden’s voice calls out behind me, and I find my footing again. I whip my head over my shoulder to see him rushing into the room.

“I’m fine,” I call out to him over the music.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Well right now I’m trying not to fall on my face,” I joke, but then note his concern and give him a real answer. “Hanging up the backdrop for the shoot.”

He dumps an armful of items on a small end table. “You should’ve waited for me. What would you done if you fell off and got hurt and no one was here?”

My neck strains from twisting to look behind me at him. “Well, guess we don’t need to worry about that because that didn’t happen, and you're home now,” I tell him with a smile.

The scowl doesn’t leave his face, but his shoulders drop the smallest fraction. “I do have an actual step stool, you know. Get down from there and I’ll go grab it.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt the interview. How’d it go by the way?”

I listen for his response as I get more hooks situated.

A loud exhale sounds behind me as he says, “It was fine.” His tone says it was anything but.

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