Page 111 of Take My Hand

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HAYDEN

“Thank you,” I tell the bartender as he passes me the beer I ordered. I’m waiting for Nikolai, but I don’t like to have idle hands when I’m in a place like this, so I went ahead and ordered a drink without him.

He’ll catch up when he gets here.

I got back to LA a few days ago and he called me to see how Will was doing. I gave him an overview over the phone, but invited him out for a drink tonight.

The beer is cold as it slides across my tongue and down my throat before turning into a low heat as it hits my stomach. I survey the room while I wait. It’s empty since it’s early and a weekday night. A young guy is setting up a guitar and microphone on the small stage in one of the corners.

I don’t miss those days of playing in small bars and hoping to have even ten people in the place paying attention to your set.

My phone lights up on the bar top, and I swipe open my screen.

Carter: Running home to grab some clean clothes. Just a heads up in case I’m not back yet when you get home

Me: Be careful driving. Love you

When Carter and I were getting ready to leave for the airport the other day and she came downstairs still wearing one of my pairs of sweatpants and an old Whisper Me Nothings’ T-shirts of mine, it’s then that it clicked for me that she had been wearing my clothes the entire time we were there.

Because in the blur between getting the news about Will and taking off for the airport, I didn’t think about her not having any of her clothes, toiletries, nothing with her to pack. And not once did she bring it up or complain about it.

She was solely focused on my needs at that moment.

And if it was even possible, it made me love her even more.

It also made me wish that she didn’t live in her own apartment forty-five minutes from my place and would never again have to worry about not having what she needs at my house if we lived together.

But that’s a thought for another time, because Nikolai strides in and scans the room before clocking me at the far end of the bar, toward the back.

The few people in the bar turn their heads as he walks by, as people usually do when Nikolai enters a room. The smile he flashes at one of the bartenders does its job as she follows him over to where I’m seated to take his order.

“Hey, man.” He claps me on the back as he slides into the stool next to me. “How’re you doing?”

“Pretty good. You?”

“Alright.” He slips his leather jacket off and lays it over the empty seat next to him. “How’s Will doing?”

“Doing okay,” I say, taking a sip of my beer. “He’s been staying with my parents but classes start after Labor Day so he’ll be moving back to campus. Makes us all a little uneasy but he’s started therapy.” I shrug, trying to tone down my worry over him. He already has my mom and my dad clucking over him, he doesn’t need me to do the same. “It’s too soon to see if it’s helping yet obviously, but at least he’s trying.”

Nikolai thanks the bartender as she slides his gin and tonic across the bar, before holding it out to me for a cheers.

He takes a long sip, draining a good bit of the beverage in one go. The usual glow in his face is dimmed and a spark of concern tugs at my chest.

“Are you doing alright? Did this stuff with Will bring anything up for you?” I ask tentatively, knowing that he doesn’t like to talk about anything in regards to the shooting, but maybe just like with Will, I’d be doing him a disservice to not try to get him to open up.

Nikolai spins his glass around the bar top with deft fingers. “No, I’m fine. It’s nothing like that. I mean yeah, I was really fucking worried when you sent that text about him being in the hospital, but I’m good knowing he’s alright.”

I can feel there’s something he’s holding back.

“Is there anything else bothering you?” I dig.

He turns and stares at me, blue eyes searching my face as if trying to read between my words to figure out what I’m really trying to ask.

I’ll save him the work.

“Does it have anything to do with what happened at the dinner when Jane and Reid both shut Walker down and the three of you seemed to all know something we don’t?”

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