Page 59 of Catching My Dreams

“If you had the choice, would you want to be here with me?” she asked. “Or would you and Mom rather be traveling the world, free of the responsibility of raising your daughter?”

“I don’t know what you’re going on about.”

“Yes, you do, Dad.” Ella licked her lips and tasted salt. “It’s an easy question, and I think we both know the answer. You don’t want to be a father any more than Mom wants to be a mother.”

“Ella, if this is about the money, we can put it all back in your account.”

Her face crumpled, and she swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’s not about the money, Dad. It’s about the fact that you and Mom don’t give a shit about me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Then why aren’t you here?” she asked, her voice breaking. “Why couldn’t one of you have flown back to be here for me? Why can I rely on Noah Warner, of all people, and not you?”

There was a long pause before her father spoke again. “Who’s Noah Warner?”

Ella laughed, but it was a choked sound. “The fact that you don’t know is more telling than anything.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Ella.”

“I want you to say that you’ll be on the next flight out,” she replied in a surprisingly calm tone. “I want you to say that you and Mom care enough about me to be here when I need you. But you and I both know that will never happen. So, honestly? I’m not sure I want anything from either of you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” She straightened her shoulders, knowing she was making the right decision. “I do because I know I deserve better, and you’re never going to be able to be better for me.”

“We love you, Ella,” her father argued, but the panic in his voice wasn’t even nearly enough to convince her that he regretted his behavior.

Ella thought of how Asher had always dropped everything to drive to her house whenever she’d seen anything terrible while dreamwalking. She thought about how Noah had driven past her house to make sure she was okay. She thought about how her gran had handmade the dress she’d worn to her senior prom.

She shook her head. “Those words are meaningless when they’re not backed up by actions.”

Ella didn’t bother waiting for her father to formulate a response. She hung up and put her phone back on the living room coffee table. She stood up from the blue armchair that she would always think of as her spot even though nobody else was ever there to claim any of the seats in the house.

She’d just cut off her relationship with her parents. She’d really done it.

Knowing that Noah would probably be in the middle of a lecture and unable to answer her call, there was only one thing she could think to do. Ella pulled her folklore vinyl record from the shelf and tried to lose herself in her favorite album. She smiled when she got to “betty” and silently admitted that Noah had a point about how sad the song actually was.

The tension in Ella’s neck only increased as the day progressed despite the abundance of Taylor Swift, the familiar words and worn pages of Persuasion, and the heat pack she kept reapplying. By the time Noah arrived after his last class of the day, she’d taken four painkillers and was putting Archie’s lead on so that she could escape the frightening isolation of being alone again in her house.

“Hey you,” Noah said when she unlocked and opened the front door for him.

“Hi.”

He walked in and closed the door behind him. Ella didn’t get the chance to ask him how his day was before his arms were wrapped around her, and he was crushing her to his firm chest.

“I’m sorry I’m a bit late. I went to check on my mom before I came here.”

“How is she?” Ella asked, closing her eyes and shifting until her cheek was pressed comfortably against his chest.

“Good,” he replied. “Much better than she’s been in a while.”

“That’s great.”

“She said she could use more mac and cheese, though.” Amusement lifted his voice, and Ella smiled.

“I see. So you’re here to make sure I hop to it.”

“Precisely. Can’t have you slacking off.”

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