Page 40 of Catching My Dreams

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Ella ran her hand over Noah’s bare chest, smiling sleepily when he pulled her closer. He was so warm.

“This is nice,” she said, her eyes not straying from where her fingers ran over his skin. “I could stay here forever.”

He hummed, and Ella frowned. There was something wrong with the sound.

“Me too,” he replied. Only it wasn’t Noah’s voice.

Ella reared back, scrambling away from Brett and off the bed. A scream built in her throat, but it froze there, lodged in place by her terror.

“What’s wrong?” Brett asked, his eyes narrowing. “Wait, let me guess. You thought I was someone else, didn’t you? One of your other childhood friends, maybe?”

Ella backed away until her back hit her bedroom wall. “You were never my friend.”

“We were friends..” He eased himself from the bed, and Ella was relieved to see he was wearing sweatpants even if his upper body had been naked. “You confided in me. Trusted me. You even told me about the crush you had on the boy who was being mean to you.”

She shook her head. “That was before you tried to rape me.”

That one word nearly got caught on her tongue, the heaviness of it making it nearly impossible to say. It was the first time she’d admitted it out loud, but there was nothing freeing or healing about it. The word infected the air, making her lungs tight and her breaths thin. It sank into her skin, making beads of sweat form on her forehead and under her arms even as a chill worked its way into her bones.

“No,” he argued. “I would never have hurt you like that, Ella. I love you. You know that.”

He drew closer with every word, and when Ella tried to run for the door, he blocked her path. With no other choice, she was forced to stumble back and press herself into the corner of the room. Her limbs felt heavy with fear. Her breaths were reedy, and, worst of all, her bladder threatened to give out.

“No, I don’t,” she managed to get out as her head pounded in time with her pulse. “You don’t hurt the people you love.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, a frown pinching his eyebrows together. “I would never hurt you.”

“I kept telling you to stop,” she choked out. “But you didn’t.”

Brett began to shake his head, the movement almost frantic. “No. You never told me to stop. You were fine with it. You let me kiss you.”

“That’s not what happened.” Anger started to rise in Ella’s chest, pushing her fear away enough for her words to hold some steel.

“It is,” Brett insisted.

“No,” Ella roared. “You tried to force yourself on me.”

He suddenly bolted forward, grabbing her shoulders before she could fight him. “You’re remembering wrong,” he said as his fingers pressed harder into her skin, and his eyes begged her to reconsider her stance. “I never would have done that to you.”

Finally, the scream lodged in Ella’s throat came loose. She closed her eyes and screamed until her voice was hoarse.

When she opened her eyes again, she woke up to the darkness of her bedroom closet and the feel of Archie’s tongue against her wet cheeks, the dream burned into her mind.

Ella reached for the camping lantern she kept next to her pillow, but the light only managed to chase away the darkness, not the panicked beat of her heart or the cold sweat on her skin. She reached for her phone next, hesitating on Asher’s name before scrolling further down her contact list.

Already regretting it, she called her mom.

“What is it, Ella? Your dad and I are in the middle of breakfast.”

“I…” Ella’s head lowered, the mixture of shame and defeat too heavy for her. The movement pulled on the knot in her neck, and a spike of pain shot through the tight muscles. It felt worse than ever.

“You what?” her mother asked impatiently.

“I want you to come home.” Ella hadn’t planned on asking it, but once the words were out, she knew it was what she needed.

She stroked her hand over Archie’s back, wishing he was enough for her, but knowing only another person’s presence could truly make her feel safe in the house.

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