Page 9 of Chasing Your Ghost

“Sounds perfect,” Riley replied before stepping back and closing the door in Edith’s dejected face.

She shut her eyes and muttered a curse under her breath, knowing she’d messed up big time but furious that Edith had stolen the last few hours she was meant to have in the apartment. Letting out a humorless laugh, Riley slumped against the closed door.

The day had only just started, and it was already a disaster. But things could only get better, right? she tried to convince herself before she made her way to the shower, her head throbbing and her queasy stomach growling for food.

But it turned out things couldn’t only get better. They could get worse, which Riley discovered when she stood with her three suitcases and five boxes at her feet, forced to say goodbye to the place that had been her home for as long as she could remember. She didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want strangers moving into the space she would always consider home, filling the cramped apartment with new furniture and memories until it was barely recognizable.

But her dad had made his wishes clear, and though he was gone now, Riley couldn’t go against them. It would feel like a betrayal. So, wiping her wet cheeks and swallowing the lump of emotion in her throat, Riley took one final look at the place she didn’t want to let go of but couldn’t financially and guiltlessly afford to keep.

She dragged the boxes and suitcases out into the hall, stubbornly refusing to ask for Edith’s help until all her possessions were outside the closed apartment door. Only then did Riley go downstairs, dragging one of the large suitcases with her into the slightly rickety elevator.

When she reached Edith’s Jeep Grand Cherokee, the woman was wiping under her eyes with a tissue. Edith spotted Riley in the rearview mirror and quickly blew her nose before hopping out of the driver’s seat and opening the trunk. A stab of guilt wormed its way into Riley’s chest as the woman silently helped her lift the suitcase into the back of the car.

Edith barely spared Riley a glance as they went back into the building to collect the next batch of belongings. It looked like Riley would be lugging her suitcases and boxes down to the car beside a woman she’d driven to tears, and with a hangover, no less. Perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect.

What felt like a century later, Riley had placed the last box on the backseat of Edith’s car. She was covered in sweat, her head felt like it was splitting in two, and her hands were shaking because she hadn’t had breakfast yet.

“All done?” Edith asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Yes.” Riley stretched her arms over her head and then rubbed the back of her neck.

“Let’s get going then. It’s a five-hour drive, so we’ll need to stop for lunch somewhere along the way.”

“We can’t leave yet. The landlord will be here soon to get my set of keys and to make sure everything is in order. Besides, I need to get breakfast, or well, brunch, I guess, before we go anywhere.”

Edith flushed. “Of course. Alright, we’ll wait for the landlord, and then we can get you something to snack on when we stop for gas.”

Riley pinched the bridge of her nose. “I need an actual meal. Not a snack.”

Edith’s lips pressed together into a thin line. “Right. Okay.”

Riley was quickly regretting ever letting her dad talk her into delivering that stupid letter, and they hadn’t even left New York yet.

“Thank you,” Riley replied with a bit of bite in her tone. “I’m going to wait for the landlord in the apartment.”

Edith sent her an apologetic wince when her phone started ringing, and Riley suppressed a sigh. While her mother began chatting away about layouts and font, she dug her book out of her black and white polka dot backpack. She went back inside the building and took the elevator up to her floor.

After chugging down about a gallon and a half of water from the sink, she settled onto the couch to wait for the landlord, her book helping her escape the reality that was waiting for her downstairs and in Virginia.

She hadn’t seen Olivia or met Noah during her brief visit to Fort Hunt, and she knew almost nothing about them, but Riley wasn’t holding out much hope for getting along with them. Her own mother had been so freaked out by her that she’d left, so why would Edith’s stepson and her unabandoned daughter want anything to do with her?

There was only so much disappointment and rejection a person could take before they gave up on the human race altogether, and Riley was dangerously close to crossing that line into hermit status. Everlasting solitude was looking pretty good in place of living with Edith and her presumably perfect husband, daughter, and stepson.

It was too bad Riley was so tired of being alone that she didn’t want to move into some small and dingy apartment by herself, no one to keep her company but the ghosts who might cross her path. If she weren’t such a pathetic excuse of a person, maybe she wouldn’t still be secretly wishing that Olivia and Noah wouldn’t be anything like the kids she’d gone to school with—the ones who’d hated her guts. It was just too freaking bad.

???

It was nearly five hours into their trip, and Riley hadn’t said more than ten words to Edith. By putting on her headphones as soon as they’d gotten into the car, Riley had made it clear that conversation was off the table. The music didn’t help her headache, but listening to AC/CD, The All-American Rejects, and Jimmy Eat World had made the road trip bearable.

Riley told herself she didn’t care that Edith spent almost the entire journey to Virginia discretely wiping away tears and sniffling. She told herself it didn’t matter that her egg donor was clearly disappointed in the silent treatment Riley was giving her. She told herself Edith deserved the pain she was feeling, and for the most part, she believed it.

As another album ended and Riley unlocked her phone to select another one, she wondered what her dad would think of the cold shoulder she was giving Edith. He’d probably be disappointed. He’d probably be begging Riley to make an effort, but Riley couldn’t bring herself to make small talk with the woman who’d made it nearly impossible not to listen to the kids who’d called her a freak in school.

Over the years, she’d toughened up and let go of any delusional fantasies she might have been harboring deep inside of herself. Riley couldn’t simply take down those walls now. It wasn’t that easy, and she couldn’t help but feel that lowering her defenses would be a terrible mistake that would only end in her ruin.

So, she would stay with Edith and her family until she started at Georgetown as she’d promised her father she’d do, but as soon as summer was over, she’d be out of there and would never look back.

The person she loved most in the world was gone, and Edith would never be able to come close to replacing him. With her, there would be no blueberry pancakes on Saturday morning, no jogs in Central Park, no pizza nights, no superhero movie marathons, no gingerbread-house-building competitions at Christmas time.

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