Page 32 of Chasing Your Ghost

“Then where am I going when I disappear?” he asked, stopping his pacing to look at her beseechingly.

Riley wanted to look away, but something kept her gaze locked with his broken one. “I don’t know,” she whispered honestly. “I wish I could tell you, but I really don’t know. I’ve never heard of anything like it.”

Asher’s shoulders dropped. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t go back there again.”

She wished she could give him good news, something to give him hope, but Riley knew nothing about what was happening to him or what made him different. “Maybe you need to move on?” she suggested after too long a pause, but her words lacked confidence. “If you pass over, then whatever is happening to you should stop.”

“But…I can’t. I’d be leaving everyone behind.”

“You’ve already left them behind,” she reminded him gently, her heart clenching when her words made him flinch. “I know you can still see them, but they can’t see you.”

“They don’t even know that I’m dead,” he told her as he slumped onto the bed next to her. He rested his elbows on his thighs and let his head drop down into his hands. “They’re still hoping they’ll find me.”

Riley’s eyes started to sting with the threat of tears. As much as she saw her ability as a gift, there were times when she hated it and the pain that she was constantly witness to. “Can I ask what happened to you?”

It took him so long to respond that Riley was starting to regret asking the question. When he did speak, he sounded so disconsolate that she regretted it even more.

“I was driving home. It was late, and one of my tires went flat. I was stupid to pull over, but I didn’t even suspect something bad could happen. I was so stupid.”

“You weren’t stupid,” Riley argued.

Asher pursed his lips. He obviously didn’t agree with her. “I got out the car,” he continued. “And someone pulled up behind me. He got out and asked me if I needed help. I was smart enough to say no, and he turned around to head back to his car. I should have waited and watched him get in and drive away, but I didn’t. I was looking at the flat tire when I heard him behind me. When I turned around, he hit me with something.”

“Did you see his face?”

“No. It was too dark to see anything clearly, and he was wearing a cap. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the living room of my house. My parents were sitting on the couch crying, but when I asked them what was wrong, they couldn’t hear me. I tried everything to get their attention, but nothing worked.”

Riley had heard similar stories from other ghosts, but this one felt worse. Asher wasn’t a random stranger. He was Noah’s friend, and that made his story harder to hear.

“Even when I tried to touch my mom’s shoulder, my hand went right through her. Eventually, I left my parents and tried with my friends, but it was the same with them. I kept trying for days, but nobody could hear or see me.” He swallowed. “I knew what it meant, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

Riley’s throat grew tight. At least she’d been able to say goodbye to her dad. Asher and his parents hadn’t been so lucky. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why did this happen to me?” Asher asked, his voice rising.

If Riley could have, she would have placed her hand over his, but that wasn’t possible. She tried to find comforting words instead. “It’s not fair, and I hate that it happens, but terrible things happen to good people all the time.”

“That’s a bullshit answer.”

She nodded slowly. “I know, but it’s the only one I have.”

“Does it get better?” he asked. “Wherever I’d go when I move on. Is it better there?”

Riley couldn’t know the answer for sure, but she knew what she and her father believed. “It’s better.”

“I won’t be in pain anymore?”

“No,” she promised him. “You’ll never be in pain again.”

“How does it work? How do I move on?”

“You need to let go. Accept that you’ll be leaving the people you love behind, but know that you’ll see them again when their time comes. You need to make peace with it.” She knew it was far easier said than done, and the words felt insufficient, deceptive even.

“And if I can’t?”

Riley bit her lip and looked away. “Then you’ll be stuck here until you can find a way or until the people you love have passed on. But not being seen or heard by them will eat away at you. I’ve seen it happen before. You could be half crazy by the time you’re finally ready.”

“So my options are either to slowly go insane or to move on,” Asher said with a humorless chuckle. “Not much of a choice, is it?”

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