Page 104 of Chasing Your Ghost

“What?” Noah asked, sitting up with a frown when she pulled away from him and clutched the sheet to her naked chest. “Ella, what’s wrong?”

She couldn’t look at him. Her gaze wandered around the pale green walls of her room, moving over any point that wasn’t him. “I should have known this was all some twisted game.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You slept with me because you thought it would soften me up. You thought it would make it easier to convince me.” A tear dropped down to her cheek, and she couldn’t wipe away that sign of weakness quickly enough.

God, he must think she was so pathetic. He’d set her skin ablaze with every touch, and he must have loved how easy it had been to seduce her.

“You can’t be serious,” he said, his voice taking on a hint of that familiar anger. “You seriously think I’d do something that despicable?”

She forced herself to meet his blue-eyed gaze. “When it comes to me, I think you’re capable of even worse.”

He drew back like her words had landed a physical blow, but Ella wasn’t fooled. Noah might have said all the right things to get her to fall into bed with him, but he was the same man who’d known only hate for her. She’d slept with him because she’d been in love with him for years. He’d done nothing more than fuck the woman he hated in order to get what he wanted. He’d used her, and she’d been foolish enough to fall into his trap.

“You’re wrong,” he insisted, but all Ella could hear were lies.

“Is that why it was the first thing you brought up after we’d finished?” she asked, the words tasting as bitter on her tongue as the taste of his manipulation.

She felt dirty and stained by the deception, and she clutched tighter at the sheet covering her nakedness as her stomach rolled over. She’d known what he’d thought of her. How could she have thought for even a second that he’d wanted her, had desired her without having any ulterior motives? After everything he’d said to her that morning alone, how could she have let him touch her that way? How could she have allowed herself to be so vulnerable with him?

“You’re disgusting,” she seethed through gritted teeth. “You make me sick.”

“You need to listen to me,” he ground out.

“Get out,” she said, barely taking note of his words.

“Ella, would you just shut up for five seconds and let me speak?” he snapped.

“Fuck you,” she snapped back, his anger only feeding her own. “I hate you,” she told him, sure she truly meant it this time. “You might think I’m selfish, but you’re far worse than I ever was.”

He huffed out a laugh. “You know what, Montgomery? Fuck you, too.”

She didn’t miss the way he’d switched back to calling her by her last name, but she couldn’t figure out why it sent a stab of pain through her chest. She shook her head, knowing she was only seconds away from falling apart. “Please just go.” Her voice was thick, on the cusp of cracking under the press of her held in tears.

“Fine, but let me ask you one thing before I leave.” He climbed off the bed and started pulling on his clothes. “If you love Asher so much, how could you not do everything in your power to save him?” he asked as he zipped up his jeans.

“Maybe you’ve been right all along,” she replied, feeling numb. “Maybe I am just that selfish.”

He tugged his shirt on, fixing his gaze on her once it was over his head. “Maybe you are,” he agreed. There was no rage behind his words, no fury encouraging him to say what he didn’t mean in the heat of the moment. There was only what he believed to be the truth. He looked at her bed and shook his head. “This was a mistake.”

Ella hadn’t thought he could hurt her any more than he already had, yet, with those words, he managed it. With those words, he scraped her raw, leaving nothing in his wake but pain. Noah had always been so good at that, but he’d reached new heights. He’d become a master at hurting her, and this was his grand finale. His pièce de resistance.

He scoffed. “Call me if you decide to do the right thing.”

And then he was gone. He left his scent on Ella’s sheets and all over her skin, but there was no trace left of the warmth he’d brought to her body. She felt cold, and not even the scalding shower she stumbled into on shaky legs could bring any heat back to the numb husk she’d become.

Nor could it wash away the grime that felt permanently fixed to her, tattooed on her skin by Noah’s betrayal.

Sobs tore through her raw throat as she dried herself with a towel that felt too rough against her pink skin. She’d only cried that hard a handful of times in her life, and the only time that compared to the pain she felt then was when she’d heard Asher had gone missing. Noah had landed the perfect blow. He’d decimated her.

She went through at least a dozen tissues before she’d gotten ahold of herself enough to change into clothes that weren’t sullied by his touch. He’d asked her to call him if she decided to do the right thing, but instead, Ella turned her phone on silent before ripping the sheets off her bed and sitting cross-legged on the mattress.

Her mouth was dry, her heart was racing, and she felt as though she could barely breathe, but she’d finally found something strong enough to overpower her fear: a numbness that softened the jagged edges of her terror. She didn’t even stop to worry that whoever had broken into her home while she was at Riley’s house the previous morning might come back while she was busy.

Someone had invaded her space, leaving her feeling paranoid and on edge, but all she could think about was that Asher had always been there for her, and she was repaying his selflessness by refusing to save him.

Noah was right. She was a selfish bitch, and she hated herself for it. He would be so goddamned pleased to know he’d accomplished exactly what he’d set out to do by coming to her house. She hoped he choked on his satisfaction.

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