Page 36 of Barbarian Daddies

By noon, I’m sitting with Amber by the river. One of the boys in Mal territory is looking after Valen and Salem, since Amber wanted this time alone with me on purpose. She keeps eyeing me closely, analyzing my expression as I recount moments of my experience with Selina.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her.

We’re sitting at the end of the wooden jetty, our bare feet dipping in the steamy water. The abundance of minerals flowing with the river do wonders for my healing cuts, so I’ve made a habit of coming down here once a day solely for this. I’d missed the red sky and the red rocks of the Sun River Plateau. I was only away for a week or so, but it just goes to show how a place can get lodged under your skin when it starts to feel like a real home.

“Nothing,” Amber says, smiling softly. “I’m just glad you’re back and in one piece. They never had one of us in captivity for so long before.”

“Right. Last time they had us, it was the four of us in Umok’s camp,” I reply, shuddering and shaking those memories away. “What a gruesome affair that was.”

“Beasts. All of them. I swear, I still can’t wrap my head around Selina, though,” she says, gazing out into the horizon—a scarlet line dotted with canyon rocks and patches of blackwood trees. Somewhere beyond are the Cloud Mountains, barely a pale orange silhouette against the sky. “Even if she was born without a womb, why would she hurt other women like this? Forcing them into a breeding program, impregnating them against their will.”

“At least she’s not letting her goons have their carnal way with them.”

“No, I can’t even imagine.”

“I can. Men of all species turn into beasts in the heart of war and violence. Something snaps in them, Amber. The thread of decency that would otherwise keep them from hurting the innocent and the vulnerable. We’ve both seen enough of that to know it could be a lot worse than a breeding program,” I reply. “That being said, I think I do understand Selina. I think.”

“Okay. What’s she thinking? Why is she doing this?”

I give Amber a sour smile. “Bitterness. In Sunnaite culture, she isn’t considered a woman if she doesn’t have a womb. Her father worked hard to keep her secret. When the plague hit, Selina knew it would only be a matter of time before her infertility would be discovered, and she didn’t want her whole existence to be reduced to a big, fat nothing. So, she went into the military, she worked her way up the ranks. I’m guessing she blackmailed and corrupted folks around her until she was given the general’s stars. From that point on, Selina had enough power to make the Sky Tribe warriors care less about her ability to reproduce and more about her ability to lead them. She took over Sapphire City, after all.”

“So, what, she’s torturing women because she can’t be tortured with them?”

“It might not make sense to you, but bitterness and spite can make us do dumb and awful things. Think about it, Amber. You lost your mother and your sisters to the plague. You will never have children of your own. No man will ever want you if you’re without a womb, so what’s your use in this world? What purpose do you serve? The women Selina puts away are more precious than she will ever be, general’s stars on her shoulders or not.”

Amber shakes her head slowly. “Yeah, I guess it makes sense. I guess I also understand the breeding program angle better. She’s making sure only the best seed is perpetuated,” she says. “Selina won’t allow just any Sky Tribe grunt to pass their genes along.”

“Right, that’s what I thought, as well. Aside from the human-Sunnaite breeding project, Selina needs to make good use of the Sunnaite women left before the plague takes them too. She’s practically breeding a new generation of pure-blooded servants ahead of what should be a wave of advanced hybrids like Salem. Immune to the plague. But she’s lying to her people. She’s selling something she doesn’t know enough about. More than once, I heard Selina advertising human-Sunnaite babies as immune to any kind of disease. Stronger, faster, better.”

“That’s a fat lie,” Amber snorts a chuckle. “Look at my Salem. He’s smaller than Valen. He has clear human traits, not just his Sunnaite horns and tail. Yes, he probably carries the immunity gene, and he will likely pass it on to his daughter, should he have one someday, but we don’t know he’s immune to everything.”

“Which is why it’s important that we take Sapphire City and regain control of the research lab.”

We both take deep breaths as we watch the river roll by, the water flowing over the black and red rocks with soft murmurs before the cascades opening up farther north from the Mal and Hadana territories. In this silence, I feel at peace. It’s as if the nightmare I’ve escaped was left behind the walls of Sapphire City. I know that’s not the case.

I know it’s only a matter of time before the war comes back to us in the Sun River Plateau. But until then, I plan to make the most of each day I’m given with these people, with Maur and Kai, with my best friends and the Sunnaites who have welcomed me onto their land and made me one of them.

“How are you feeling?” Amber asks me after a while. “You look a little pale today.”

“I’m okay.” I lie to her too. I’ve learned from Amber’s mistakes where pregnancies are concerned. “Just got my period, so I’m not in the best of moods.” I can’t risk anyone knowing until I figure out exactly what our next steps will be. “I’m also worried about the military campaign itself. We have a rat among us.”

“Binzen and Izzo are especially concerned about that,” she says. “They’ve started monitoring our own people, just in case. It’s awful if we can’t trust one another.”

“It’s even worse if we plan a better campaign and have our plans foiled by Selina Sharuk once again,” I scoff. “We can’t afford another fumble like that. We lost too many men that night, and we couldn’t even bring them back to their final resting place. Those Sky Tribe pricks threw their bodies out to sea.”

“What are Kai and Maur doing with their men?” Amber asks me.

That’s a good question. I don’t think I have the right answer for it, though. “They’re careful, but I don’t know how careful. Everything we discuss stays strictly between us, that I do know. I also know they’re keeping Dahlen close, if only to stop him from wandering out into the night.”

“Good grief, he’s still doing that? Poor kid.”

“Yeah, the guilt is eating him alive. Kai thinks they should give him an advisory role, at least. To give him the impression he’s still useful. Needed. It might help keep Dahlen afloat.”

“What does he do out there when he’s gone, though?”

“Nothing. I think. He always comes back. He apologizes. And then he goes about setting the breakfast table,” I say. “It’s become the norm. It breaks my heart to see him like this, but it just goes to show that not everyone is cut out for what this war requires of us.”

Amber gets up, stretching her arms out as the twin suns of Sunna kiss her skin. “All we can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best, I guess.”

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