Page 64 of Bombshell

He swore under his breath. “Did she tell you I was eighteen years old? That it’s been almost seven fucking years?”

I nodded.

“Then, why do you look like that?” he asked, staring at me.

“Like what?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He dropped his hands to his sides, then tilted his head, and his expression softened. “Like I hurt you. Like I did something wrong and you can’t stand to look at me.”

I frowned. “What Pepper told me wouldn’t have had a punch if you hadn’t introduced me as a friend, then left me without any explanation.” I let out a hard laugh, then found that my pain was starting to turn to anger. “I guess I should have clarified exactly what it was we were doing here. I seem to have gotten my wires crossed what with you staying with me every night, fucking me, buying me a freaking pink helmet!”

Micah’s brows drew together, and he took a step toward me. “Did you just say fucking, Dolly Dixon?”

I scowled up at him. He wasn’t going to change the subject. Not now. Not when he had just pierced my chest like he had.

“Don’t,” I warned him, taking a step back.

“Don’t what? You don’t want me near you now? Because some girl from my past showed up and I didn’t respond the way I should have?”

I shook my head, narrowing my eyes at his beautiful face. “No. I’m just trying to decide if I want to keep fucking my friend or not,” I spat out, surprising myself.

He moved fast, and before I could move, his hands grabbed both my arms and held me still. I tried jerking free but realized it was pointless, so I just glared up at him.

“If the word fucking comes out of that pretty mouth one more time, I will turn you around and fuck you right here over this sofa. Now, if you want to talk about tonight and Calista, then we will do it. Yes, I handled it wrong. She had surprised me. Seeing her pissed me off. Her walking up to me like she had every right to made me fucking furious. But I shouldn’t have called you a friend.” He paused, then sighed. “I don’t really know what to label us, Tink. I’ve not thought about it. I just wanted her to leave.”

Girlfriend would have been an easy word to think of, but I didn’t say it. I bit my tongue because I wanted him to keep talking.

“She is my past. My youth. She means nothing to me.”

“You loved her,” I said.

He sighed, then nodded. “Yeah, I did.”

The little repair his words had done to my shattered chest was undone with those three words. I swallowed against the lump in my throat. It was closing in, getting tighter.

One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.

“But it was a long time ago. Whatever love there was has been gone for years,” he said, then brushed over my lips with his thumb. “The woman I want to go to bed with tonight. The one I want in my arms. The one who makes me forget all this shit and the one I want to sink my dick into is you. Just you, Tink.”

But he didn’t love me. He wasn’t ready to call me his girlfriend.

This was something though. We had just been together or doing whatever it was we had been doing for a month now. I couldn’t expect him to fall in love with me so fast. But…I stared up into his face and knew I’d do whatever he asked of me and deal with the pain. Because I loved him.

The words not enough were back, hammering in my head. Trying to take the happiness I had found with Micah away. Reminding me of my flaws. The people who hadn’t wanted me. Who hadn’t fought for me.

“Tink?” Micah’s voice called out to me.

I blinked, then focused on him again.

“There you are. Where did you go?” He brushed his knuckles along my cheek. “Come take a shower with me. I’ll wash your hair.”

I nodded, fearing that this was the beginning of the worst heartbreak I’d ever experience. Calista wasn’t going to disappear. She wasn’t going to be less beautiful, and she wasn’t going to forget Micah. I knew that. It all came down to, did I trust him? Or was that even something that I should be considering? If he realized he still loved her, it wouldn’t be a matter of trust. It would be a matter of the heart. Just like I couldn’t stop loving him…if he loved her, how could I expect him to just stop?

One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.

I stood, looking out the window in the kitchen as I drank my espresso.

Last night, Micah had been sweet and attentive. He’d made me come six times before we finally both passed out from exhaustion. Twice, I had done that squirting thing that he loved so much. I was still unsure how it happened because it wasn’t me controlling it. The stronger the orgasm, the more likely I would do it. That much I had figured out.

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