Page 83 of Baby for the Bratva

I just hope it’s open, but I don’t want to test it until I actually have to go.

Due to nerves, the urge hits me after just a few minutes of picking through the vitamin aisle. I shuffle back to the bathroom, turning the handle and finding it unlocked and potentially usable.

I glance over my shoulder, but there’s nobody watching, so I slip inside, locking the corroded metal latch behind me.

I let out a deep breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in. It’s time to pull it together. I can’t chicken out now.

My heart slams in my chest as I sit on the toilet. I try not to think of all the bacteria that’s crawling on the seat, but now that I might be pregnant, I’m paranoid about everything. I try hovering, but my thighs feel like jelly from running, and I collapse onto my porcelain throne so hard that the seat shifts under me.

The packaging for the pregnancy test provides me with a distraction, but that quickly turns to frustration when I realize how much plastic is around the test. These things shouldn’t take a goddamn chainsaw to open. Why on earth would anyone package something this way?

I’m moments from throwing it across the bathroom when I see a small tear in the plastic. I lean into it, hunching over and using all the strength left in my tired body to tear it open. The little white test falls straight into my lap, and I laugh like I’ve lost my mind.

Maybe I have. I’ve considered that possibility more times than I can count since going on this cruise, but there’s no denying that this is my new reality. I’m living this life whether I’m crazy or not.

I hold the test in my hand for a few seconds, considering what this pregnancy will mean for my future. My mom is going to lose her shit, but she’ll also be happy that I’m finally making her a grandmother.

I won’t tell anyone else in my family about it, though. There’s nobody else that I’m close enough to. Tyler will find out, of course, but he’s already old news. Who cares what he has to say about it, anyway?

My hand starts to tremble as I realize the moment has come. It’s time to find out if I’m pregnant with Yuri’s baby.

I do my business, which is surprisingly easy considering that I still feel hydrated. The nervousness is helping. I feel like a tiny shivering chihuahua taking a piss on the curb for the millionth time during a walk.

Time has no meaning in this tiled cage of mine. The corroded bolt on the door hasn’t rattled once since I’ve been in here, so it can’t have been that long, but there’s no way for me to know.

I have no phone. Just a purse with a gun, cash, and makeup inside.

When I pull the pregnancy test out from beneath me, I set it down on the sink beside the toilet. I don’t really want to look at it. The thought alone makes me feel like vomiting.

I stand up, pacing around the bathroom and looking at the door every few seconds to make sure nobody comes in. Why would they? Do people even use the bathrooms at pharmacies, or do they remain unoccupied for days on end?

In this case, I hope it’s the latter. I need a few minutes to get the results, and then I’m going back to the ship. I won’t be looking for Molly. I don’t even want to think about her anymore. She’s in a different stage of her life, and it’s clear she doesn’t resonate with the one I’ve just entered.

And that’s totally fair. There’d be no hard feelings if she hadn’t acted so rudely toward me.

My mind clings to the confrontation as a distraction from the pregnancy test, but eventually I have to turn around and address it. There’s no way I can spend the rest of the day in a public bathroom when Yuri’s men are probably panicking, reporting back to their big, bad boss that they’re lost sight of me.

God, now I kind of wish it had been Dima following me. I’d like to see him get yelled at by Yuri, just to know if he’d break his statue act.

More distractions from having to look at the result of my pregnancy test. I’m a master procrastinator, but no longer! I’m going to do it. I’m going to find out what’s in store for my future, even if it’s difficult.

I turn around, facing the bathroom sink with the same rigidity as a soldier facing battle. I march toward it, my stomach dropping as I see that there’s more than one line on the display.

There they are. Two red lines.

I pick up the pregnancy test, and it’s as clear as day. I’m pregnant with Yuri’s baby.

My heart is pounding in my chest again, trying to tear through my ribs and make its escape under the bathroom door. I lean against the tile wall, but immediately move off it when I think about how dirty it must be.

I’m pregnant. There’s a baby growing in my belly that was put there by Yuri.

I close my eyes, saying a silent prayer for the safety of my child as I put both hands over my belly. I’m viewing this as a blessing, an unexpected new beginning to my life. It’s also a wake-up call to be a better woman so that my child can have someone to look up to.

I haven’t exactly been awful, but I’ve not always made the best choices. I’ve let things slip because of my feelings toward toxic men, but that won’t happen anymore. Yuri respects me, but if he ever treats me poorly, I’ll be out the door in an instant.

My baby is more important than anything else.

Opening my eyes, I decide it’s time to leave. I toss the packaging for the test in the small trash by the sink, and then I unlatch the door, stepping out into the pharmacy again. The buzz of the drink cooler is so loud compared to the pristine silence of the bathroom. It’s almost too much to bear.

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