Page 35 of Spiteful Lies

Pacing the room, my mind keeps coming up with scenarios, and each one is worse than the last. I can picture my mom wearing her old leather jacket, weaving from side to side, as she approaches a stoic Rawlins. Rawlins will smirk and then look at me with a knowing grin. Stop, I shout at my mind. I grab the heavy ropes and work them into a wave. The movement hypnotizes me, forcing my mind to release the anxiety.

This morning, another auto-deposit hit my account, and I split it with Charlotte, sending half to her account. I don’t want her sweating cash the way I had to, and since I’ve stopped sweating for it, I’ve barely spoken to Nova. There’s no need to hustle for a penny when the bank account is climbing.

I’m changing more than I want to admit. The things they do at Stonehaven are becoming the norm to me. I don’t feel the need to grab the tray out of a waiter’s hands when he places it down in front of me. Dirty towels left in the bath make me scowl, and I expect my navy blazer pressed and in my closet every Monday morning. Pretty soon, I won’t remember life at Monarch. I’ll be 100 percent Stonehaven. I’m turning into a rich kid. The moment I felt embarrassed by my mom, I realized that. All the shit she did for me, and I don’t want her around here.

Do I really want to be like those kids? I grunt, whipping the heavy ropes faster until they turn into a blur. A sound rises from my gut and rips out of my throat. “Fuck all of you!” I scream.

“Whoa.” Unnoticed, Wyatt walked in and has now frozen. “Astrid, slow down.”

Gradually, I slow down the pace, the sweat running into my eyes as I drop the ropes. Panting, I collapse on the mat, trying hard to catch my breath as my chest pounds.

He watches me closely, unsure, and there’s hesitation in his eyes. He plops down beside me on the mat, and I close my eyes as his hand rests on my hip. His fingers run along the waistband of my shorts, slipping in. His fingers trace the outline of my ink, and goose bumps flare across my flesh.

“That feels good,” I sigh, stretching my body out as his touch relaxes me.

“You need to talk?” he asks. “Because I think you need to before you punch someone out.”

Taking a deep breath, the rant tumbles out in a rush of jumbled words. “I was proud of being tough. Coming from Weymouth was my bragging right, but now,” I roll onto my back and look up at him as he leans over me. “I’m going soft. Old Astrid would’ve torn someone like Leister to shreds for touching her. I would’ve pounded him into pieces with my fist. Now, I’m freaking out and hiding behind my posh sister and a bank account.”

His hand stops rubbing my hip, and he lies down beside me, holding me tight in those strong arms. “That scum attacked you after he drugged you,” he says softly, “Don’t be so hard on yourself because you didn’t kick ass. Give yourself a break for being vulnerable, Astrid. The asshole doped you, and it’s not over yet. We’ll get him.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, holding his hand to my tummy. “But as bad as that felt, I felt worse when Gemma mentioned my mother and I shut down.”

He stiffens. “What did she say about your mom?”

“Nothing except she’s eager to meet her.” I pause. “And I felt ashamed. I’ve been angry at my mom and scared of her and even proud. But never ashamed, not until now.”

“You weren’t ashamed when I met her?” he asks.

I squeeze his hand. “No, but you love me, right?”

Wyatt kisses my cheek, and as his mouth lingers on my skin, I feel better.

He kisses me again as he talks, alternating kisses and sweet words. “It’s normal, Superwoman, to feel all the emotions. What’s important is that you know it’s wrong to feel ashamed. That’s a signal that something’s wrong. You still have your soul intact.”

I cuddle closer, pushing myself against him and wanting him even closer. “This is why I wasn’t nervous when you saw my mom. You get me because we have that connection.” I pause. “I’m not sure if I can choose.”

“Choose who?” Pierce asks, staring hard at Wyatt. He sits down beside me and gives me a soft kiss that claims me again. “What are you two talking about?”

“It’s a private conversation.” Wyatt gives Pierce a look, and instantly, I recall the way they fought in front of the dining hall. Their mutual dislike for one another was a dynamic reaction that took several men to break up. At the time, it was fun to watch when I hated Pierce, but it’s not like that anymore.

“Don’t start.” I eye them both. “I’m not in a good mood.”

Bryce enters the room and sits near me. It feels odd not to kiss him and to act as if we never touch, so we kiss. Bryce glances over at Wyatt, and they exchange a look.

“That’s it.” I stand up and stare them down. “I’m breaking up with all of you except Justin. Justin is my choice.”

Chapter 25

Astrid

I almost laugh when I see the looks of horror and disgust on their faces. But they pushed me to this, and Justin is the one by default. I’m sure if he’s here, he’d be acting like a jerk too. I grab my gym bag and try to toss the straps over my shoulder, but Wyatt grabs a strap and holds on tight.

“Wait, wait, whoa,” he says, “Astrid, don’t run off. Let’s talk.”

I scoff, rolling my eyes. “No, too late. This isn’t talking. This is me listening to you three taking swipes at one another, and I’m done. I’ve made my choice.” I tug at the strap, but Wyatt won’t let go. “Fine, keep my fucking bag.”

I drop it on the ground, and it lands in Wyatt’s lap. Moving quickly, I start for the door, but before I can take another step, Pierce stands and blocks me with his chest.

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