Howland presses the intercom on the desk phone. “Come in, please.”
The nurse steps in, and oddly, I’m hoping he won’t mention the birth control.
“Lilian, this is my daughter Astrid.” He gestures with a wave of the hand. “Astrid, this is my nurse Lilian. She will assist you when I’m not in the office.”
Lilian’s big brown eyes widen on me, and I hate the expression of shock she can’t hide. It feels like I was the one who abandoned my illegitimate daughter. Why isn’t she staring at Howland? He’s the asshole. I don’t feel triumphant that I belong here more than she does. I feel shame seeing the shocked look on her face that I exist.
Howland looks at his gawking nurse and then at the script in my hand. He moves toward the desk while shooting her a withering glare. Lilian closes her gaping mouth as she regains her lost composure.
“Send Nurse Beth in,” he says as she moves to the door, “And Lilian, if Astrid is discussed, you will be fired.”
“Yes, Dr. Howland.” Lilian leaves, and a second nurse enters.
“Astrid, give Nurse Beth your script. She can fill it while you wait. I’d like to discuss your future further.”
I chickened out. I never chicken out. I should have told him I needed money.
Instead, I hurry out of the building, clutching my prescription bag. I pull out the box, barely looking at it, and shove it into my purse along with a box of condoms. I dump the empty bag in a trash bin by the parking lot. The next time Wyatt kisses me, I won’t stop. My phone chimes and I expect Roni, but it’s not. It’s a text from my bank, and five thousand has been deposited into my account. Thank God. I had forgotten that October rent is due. And I didn’t want to go back in there again.