Page 33 of Chief-of-Security

With a grunt, I lower the barbell to the floor, my back and arms burning with the effort not to drop it.

Sunday mornings at the gym are usually my favorite, especially on the days I can drag Liam out of bed to come with me. But after spending all of yesterday analyzing Frankie’s reaction on Friday night, my workout is less meditation and more overthinking.

When Frankie ended up on top of me, her green eyes hooded and a slight smile tugging at one side of her lips, I’d hardly dared to breathe, afraid one wrong move would break whatever magic had her looking so fucking sexy. Had I wanted to roll her under me and ravish her?

Hell yeah.

Had I held as still as possible and let her take the lead, submitting myself to her wants instead?

Also, hell yeah.

I rack the bar and weights before deciding that cardio would be a better way to work my frustration out of my system. Taking the last treadmill in the row, I tip my chin to my buddy Carl, the gym’s owner, as he walks past.

Frankie hadn’t held me down with anything more than my desire for her to feel safe, but that reason had tied me down tighter than the shibari I’d stumbled across on TikTok the other day. As I start out at a slow jog, the memory of her lips dancing across mine floods through me. I could have tasted her all night and not had my fill.

And then, before I’d gotten more than a single sip of her, I’d fucked it all up. Practically throwing her across the room in my haste to check the door. I’d forgotten about the food we’d ordered and assumed it was Derek, or some other nut job obsessed with her, pounding at the door.

By the time I’d realized my panic had been over nothing and schooled my face into amusement, the damage was done. She’d looked up at me, scared and resigned, and I knew in my gut I’d done it again.

I picked up the pace, my legs pounding out the rhythm of my thoughts.

Too much.

Too much.

Too much.

Even blasting System of a Down’s “Chop Suey!” through my ear buds, can’t get rid of the voice at the back of my head reminding me of all the times I’d overreacted and lost something because of it.

Kim’s face when I’d shown up at her apartment, a dozen red roses in hand for our first date.

Two months later when I’d proposed with a cartful of baby items instead of a ring, hours after she’d shown me the positive test. She’d cried, slammed the door in my face, and refused to speak to me for a week.

Joining the Guard to prove that I could support Kim and Liam, not realizing that she was trying to do us both a kindness by refusing to marry me and “do the right thing.”

How many times had I been presented with an opportunity and blown it by being overeager, unable to see when I was just being tolerated?

I run until the refrain in my mind is too jumbled to keep hold of me. I need a distraction.

Carl walks past me again, jerking his chin to send my gaze to the right. There’s a woman at the assisted pull-up machine, her hair pulled back in a braid, muscles straining as she completes a decent set of pull-ups. As he passes a crowd at the free-weights, I notice they’ve shifted to watch her. Seriously?

Why are guys such assholes? They remind me of Derek. Not overtly doing anything wrong, but still being creepy and disrespectful of the fact that she’s here for herself, not for their entertainment.

I catch Carl’s eye as I slow my pace. He walks back across the gym, catching several of the guy’s eyes. Most of them have the decency to turn away from her when he glowers at them, but some of the younger ones only grin at him and go back to staring. Their funeral.

I step off the treadmill and quickly wipe it down before making my way over to Carl.

“Hey, man, how’s it going?” He grabs my hand and pulls me in to slap my shoulder and murmur in my ear. “New kid, four o’clock. Gonna need to mop the floor when he’s done drooling over her.”

“Same old, same old.” I slap his back in return, keeping him close. “Phone out, two o’clock.”

“I’ll take the newbie, you deal with the phone.” Carl grins as he pushes me away. Then continues in a louder voice. “Spot me?”

We move away from each other, Carl toward the rack, which just happens to be behind the newbie. I move to my right, stepping into the path between the guy with his phone out and the woman. I’ve seen him around before, but we’ve never spoken. Usually because he’s one of those guys who’s always filming something. I could give a shit if he wants to fill his phone with videos of himself working out, but I do have an issue with him filming others.

“You know her?” I dip my head down so he can hear me.

“Nah, man. She’s fucking hot, but I’ve never seen her here before, have you?” He doesn’t take his eyes off his screen. “Can you…?”

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