Page 78 of Sacred Vow

He turns from the sink, leaning back against the counter, and slips his hands into his trouser pockets. Why hasn’t he touched me yet? He hasn’t even tried to order me to eat or drink something.

“I made an appointment for a therapist this afternoon,” he says. “The car will be ready for you at three.”

“You won’t be going with me?” My throat swells around the words. His gaze flicks to mine. “I… if you have time, I’d like it if you were with me.” I’ve already taken so much; I have no right to ask for anything else from him.

“You want me there?” His question is full of surprise.

“Of course I do.” I nod. “I mean if it’s not too much. That guy, he’s dead, isn’t he?” I touch my forehead, wishing all of the thoughts would just get into one fucking line and wait their turn.

“Mason. His name was Mason.”

Was Mason.

I give a little nod. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

“He threatened you.” His statement falls hard between us. “He put his hands on you. He chose his fate when he did that.”

I can’t stop the tears from building. I run my fingertip along the edge of my eyelid, trying to wipe them away before they start falling.

“He killed Craig,” I say, as the words strangle me. “I remember everything from that day. I remember Mason pressing that button. I remember every sound.” I take a shaky breath. “And I remember you showing up, ripping me from whoever was holding me. I remember the arguing, but I don’t remember who said what.”

His gaze flicks to me. “Getting you out of there was the goal,” he says. “But I should have killed Mason when I had the chance.”

“You were cut.” I move to him, placing my hands on his chest. “The scar. It’s from that afternoon. You let him live so that there would be no one going after me. I remember that, is that right?”

“My father made that call,” he says, still keeping his hands on the counter. “Mason had strong connections that would have been unhappy to see him dead. Craig didn’t have protection from my family. He didn’t want it. He liked being able to work with anyone he wanted whenever he wanted.”

“Since he didn’t work for your father, your family didn’t seek retribution.”

“My father agreed to let Mason walk away, that none of us would touch him. But in exchange, he was to let you go. It kept you safe and it kept the peace here at home.” His jaw flexes.

“I can’t blame your father. Craig never liked anyone telling him what to do. Why would your father start trouble on his behalf?” Craig was already gone. Having a bloodbath in his name wouldn’t have brought him back.

“We should have killed them all and taken you ourselves.” His voice is raw and full of regret.

“I may not understand the things Craig did back then or what sort of business you do now, but I know every action can either put out a fire or start one. Killing Mason wouldn’t have brought Craig back, and it would have put your family in a mess. It would have put me and Mom in danger, too.”

Andrei covers my hands with one of his when I start to pull away. “It was the right thing at the time, I know. But letting him walk away meant you could never come back to Chicago.”

“But I did come back. And I was chasing memories that weren’t safe to chase.” How many times had he told me that, and I’d fought him on it?

He nods.

“I still don’t know what I could have helped them with.”

He brings my hand to his mouth, pressing a warm kiss to my palm. “Nothing. You would have told him what you told me, and they would have had no idea what to do with it.”

“Did you find whatever it was he wanted you to find?”

“I did.” He kisses my palm again. “And it’s not for me, it’s for you.”

“What is it?”

“Later.” He cups my face, wiping his thumb across my cheek.

“Andrei, it feels like you’re pulling away.” I grab his wrist and hold on as though he’s about to fly away. “You kept your vow. I’m not in danger anymore.” Is this when he puts me in the Navigator and sends me on my way?

Isn’t that what I wanted him to do?