Page 68 of Sacred Vow

I try thinking about that morning, but I get nothing in return.

Why were we at the zoo?

I remember when I was little, he’d take me here. But that was when I was seven and he was seventeen. He was probably using me to pick up girls.

Why would he bring me here at fifteen?

I stop when we get to the primate house.

I turn around. Spin to the left, the right.

Still nothing.

I jog up the steps to the doors, open them. The stench of the place hits me.

Still, there’s nothing.

“Izzy. Let’s just walk around. Maybe it’s not this specific spot, or maybe it’s not the zoo at all.” He climbs the steps to where I stand and picks up my hand.

“Fine.” I let him lead me back to the road and we keep walking. A school group passes us. I check their tour guide, but it’s not the woman from last night. A duck waddles in front of us on the path and a toddler chases behind. We pause, letting him go by and then for his mother to get past to catch him before he actually catches the duck.

She carries him back to the blanket she has laid out for their afternoon picnic on a small patch of grass beneath a tree.

I look up at Andrei to find him watching the scene with a tiny upturn of his lips. It’s not a smile, but there’s pleasure there.

“You like kids?” I ask when we start walking again. I push my sunglasses back up. The humidity is keeping the lenses slightly fogged and my nose slick enough for them to keep sliding down.

“I will like our kids.” It’s stated as a fact.

“Will you love them?” I ask. “I mean your kids. Will you love your kids?” I clarify because once I get these memories back, he’ll be off the hook. He won’t have to protect me anymore. He doesn’t have to worry about a vow he made to Craig. And he won’t have to marry me.

His thumb rubs a circle into my wrist. “I will love my family, yes.” He pulls me gently to the right side of the walkway as another school trip passes us. One day he’s going to have a family, a large one, I think. He’ll teach his sons to be overprotective and he’ll dote on his daughters. He’ll spoil them beyond repair. And his wife will be the center of it all.

My chest tightens.

I don’t want him to have that life with another woman.

I want him to have it with me.

Somewhere in between the arguments, the protests, and the spankings, I’ve fallen for him.

“Mommy! The ape house! I wanna see the big apes!” A little kid runs in front of us.

“Okay! Just wait for us, please.” A mother pushing a double stroller with a set of twins moves in front of us. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem. He’s adorable,” I say as she hurries to keep up with him.

I watch him run ahead to the next building.

A man walks by, eating freshly made popcorn. The buttery scent overwhelms me.

My breath catches.

I freeze, look to the side, then behind me.

“Just wait here, I have to go talk to this guy real quick,” Craig says.

“Okay, I’m gonna grab some popcorn.”

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