Page 1 of Broken Secrets

Prologue

They say you never forget your first love. When I was thirteen, I fell in love for the first time. Do you remember that feeling? It’s almost like your world stops spinning and everything changes in a matter of seconds. But you also never forget your first heartbreak. They both live with you forever. The hurt may stop, but the feeling of both falling in love and getting your heart ripped out is something that stays embedded in your soul. It sets the path for what’s to come.

Growing up, Vale and Crew were my people—my absolute favorite humans on the planet. I know I used to annoy the crap out of them, but they still played along with my childish games. They would spend hours playing with me in my pink playhouse. It was like a huge shed. It had white flower boxes under the front windows and miniature furniture that fit me perfectly. But watching them sit in it was comical since they were sixteen and nineteen, after all.

I don’t know why they fed into my baffling antics, especially Vale. He was six years older than me. In a way, I guess Vale was our protector. He’d always say that it was his job to protect us. I'm not sure what he was protecting us from, though. But he was adamant, and he took his job seriously.

That summer was when everything changed. Seeing them outside in the hot summer sun playing basketball together, sweat dripping down both their bodies, did things to me I’d never felt before. Of course, I thought boys were cute, but these boys were turning into men. I looked at them differently than the boys I grew up with. They certainly didn’t look like the boys that I went to school with.

Back then, I didn’t know what the tingle between my thighs meant or the ache it left behind. I was just a thirteen-year-old girl looking at these beautiful boys that I’d known my whole life like they hung the moon. At that very moment, my whole existence changed. Seeing them sneaking glances my way couldn’t have been the same reason I was looking at them too. I couldn’t allow my immature brain to give me any hope. Hope for what? I wasn’t quite sure.

There I was, sitting on the steps in my little blue sundress and eating a popsicle, as Crew looked up and said,

“Hey Lemon,” giving me a wink.

A shiver trailed up my spine, and goosebumps littered my skin just from the look he shot me with those sea-foam green eyes. I never really understood why he called me Lemon. I just assumed my lips were puckered, which was funny. He said it had something to do with how I ate lemon-flavored stuff all the time.

I pulled my raven black hair back into pigtails that glistened in the sunshine. I had never felt more confused. My mind was a jumbled mess, but deep down I knew, I really knew. I had feelings for the boys my parents considered their own, their best friend's sons. I am so irrevocably in love with these boys, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. My hunger for them is something I have no idea what to do with, but I can't help the way I yearn for them, especially when I shouldn't.

Growing up in the South, always surrounded by the love of my family and the support of my church, was a blessing. But if my family knew how I felt about these boys, they’d probably ship me off to some reform school or something. My church would have shunned me, that’s for sure. There are certain things you don’t talk about. The topic of having feelings for my friends who were like brothers to me would have been too taboo for these small-minded townspeople of Luce de Sol la Baia, or Sunshine Cove.

Little did I know that summer would change the course of my life. I’d lose the people I loved the most for reasons unknown to me. Had I known then what I know now, would it have changed anything? Probably not. Maybe I would have been honest about my feelings if I knew then that would end up being the last summer I’d spend with the guys.

Chapter 1

Dahlia

Inever thought this day would come. I wanted to get out of Luce de Sole, a city off the coast of South Carolina, after graduating from high school. Maybe that just wasn’t in the cards for me. Before my grandma died, I promised her that I’d go to college and make something out of myself. She knew that I would be her first, and probably only grandchild who would go to college. I’d never be able to live with myself if I let her down. She was like a mom to me growing up. I was closer to her than I was to my mom. She was the gatekeeper of my secrets—well, all except one.

Both of my parents are still alive, but we don’t have a relationship. I see them on occasion. Our interactions should be limited, it’s best for everyone. They aren’t bad people. I’m just scared that they will end up hurt or dead if I slip up and tell them what happened to me. I lost my way for a while after Grandma passed away. I’m here now, still suffering from the demons that haunt me. But she’d want me to take life by the balls, and make it my bitch, so that’s exactly what I intend to do.

Today is the new beginning that I so desperately needed. It’s my first day at LDSU, starting as a psychology major. First, I need to make it through orientation, but I'm always waiting on Via. She’s my best friend and favorite person. Via is also attending LDSU. I’m so grateful that I’ll be starting with someone I know. We’ve known each other since elementary school, and this bitch is a wild child. She is most certainly going to keep me entertained. She’s always been one to test my boundaries and patience, especially by pushing me like hell to get into the nursing program. Ultimately, I knew my already fractured heart wouldn’t be able to handle the loss of a patient, so psychology it is! My papa is happy that I’m going to college. He’s just not happy that I’ll be rooting for the Birds instead of the Tigers during football season. He wanted me to go to his alma mater, but he understood.

Walking down these halls sends a shiver down my spine. To know that greatness has walked these same halls has me feeling beyond blessed. I’m so thankful that I kept my head in books during high school. Most of my friends spent their time between the sheets, but I spent mine between the pages of books. That earned me a full-ride scholarship. It included housing and a meal plan, but I didn’t need housing.

I have a small house located off-campus in downtown Luce de Sole. I bought it with money my grandma left me. I like my space, and having a roommate would have never worked out. To be honest, I don’t want people all up in my shit. Not to mention the trust issues that have followed me like a black cloud for a very long time. And if people knew what I did to myself, they’d be disgusted. Fuck, I’m disgusted with myself. The small silver lines that tarnish my inner thighs tell a story that’s full of pain and heartache. There’s no giving up, though. I have to keep fighting to overcome these demons infecting my brain.

Fuck, I need to get out of my head, but I can’t. The urge to cut will never go away. It’s an addiction that seeped deep into my bones. The blades ease the pain that I’m forced to endure every single fucking day of my life. All of the stress from the day drips away as it seeps from my skin. One day, it’ll be my ultimate demise, but that day won’t be today.

Speaking of the devil, here comes Via now, wearing some cutoff shorts and a crop top. From the front, it looks like her ass is hanging out, but it’s hard to tell from this angle. Via has always been a beautiful girl; bitch could have been a model if she wanted to. She’s got the most gorgeous strawberry-blonde hair and emerald eyes. It must be that Irish she has in her. Her stems are a mile long and she has curves for days.

“Hey bitch,” Via says.

“Are you ready to get this shit over with? I want to get some dick tonight,” she whines, like I give a fuck about her wanting dick.

“I could have already gotten dicked down if it wasn’t for this orientation bullshit.” She rolls her eyes. Tell me how you really feel, Via. Most of the time, I can’t get a word in edgewise with her crazy ass.

“How were you planning on getting dick? I thought Benji had football practice?” I ask, looking at her with a smirk. I know good, and damn well, he’s busy.

“Benji was going to sneak my ass into the locker room.” Oh My God, I burst out laughing.

“Y’all are like rabbits going at it day and night.” She looks up at me with a mischievous grin. One of these days she is going to end up pregnant if she’s not careful.

“There’s a party tonight at one of those fancy-ass villas down by the cove; you’re coming with me,” she tells me.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” I tell her.

“Let’s get orientation out of the way, then I’ll go to the party with you.” I’m not really in the mood to hit up a party tonight for reasons only known to me, but if it will calm her tits, then that’s what I’ll do. Plus, those Mediterranean-style villas are a sight to behold. They are stunning. They remind me of some of the beautiful homes that I’ve read about in my dirty romance books.

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