Page 67 of The Edge of Never

“What are ye looking for?”

“Something to… to get rid of… I don’t want to get it on my skin, so I need to…”

They trailed off. It took me a second to realise what they were getting at. The clean-up after sex. I didn’t push them any further, letting them get on with it. Instead, I lay down and waited, worried about how they were feeling in the aftermath of us having sex. Earlier, I didn’t think crossing that line was a good idea, but that went out the window the moment Kit started rubbing themselves all over me.

When Kit got back in the sleeping bag, lying down on top of me and zipping it up, they felt stiff against me. I didn’t know whether to ask them if they were okay. There was an awkward tension in the air. Neither of us expected to do that with each other. And we were still naked, which I didn’t think helped.

Should I suggest we get dressed?

Should I say anything at all if they don’t?

Fuck… what do I do now?

I should have been brave and spoken to them about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to. It wasn’t as if I regretted it. In the moment, it felt so good… so right. I didn’t know how to feel now it was over. But I also didn’t want Kit to think I was having second thoughts.

So I did the only thing I could think of to reassure them. I gently placed my hand on their back and stroked it. After a minute, their body relaxed into mine. My lips dusted over their forehead, pressing a kiss to it. It occurred to me I hadn’t actually kissed their lips. I didn’t know how I felt about doing that, especially after Kit had said they didn’t like French kissing. It made me nervous that I’d do it wrong, and they wouldn’t enjoy it. I couldn’t stand it if that was the case.

Kit deserved to have everything done right for them. They’d been so mistreated. They should be with someone who could give them everything they desired.

And that thought scared me because I’d had sex with them when I couldn’t give them anything more than this. A relationship was the very last thing on my mind.

Had I fucked it all up by doing this with them? It felt right, but what if they hated me for it? They knew I was still hurting over Jenna’s death.

Did I make a mistake?

Fuck, I didn’t know. It didn’t feel like one, but who the hell knew what was right or wrong any longer. I didn’t think I would find an answer tonight. Tomorrow… it was another problem for tomorrow.

Wrapping my other arm around Kit, I held onto them and hoped I wouldn’t feel so conflicted come morning. Kit deserved better than that. I just wanted them to be happy. And deep down, I wanted to be the one making them so.

Twenty Two

Kit

Waking up felt difficult. Being pulled from dreamland into the real world left me groggy and confused by my surroundings. It took a long minute for me to register that there was a very naked body below me. Two arms banded around me, keeping my body pinned in place.

Why am I naked?

Vivid flashes of sensations flooded me. There weren’t many visual reminders since it had been dark, but the touch of skin, pressing of flesh, and pleasure blooming everywhere as my most secret wish had come true.

Oh my fucking god. We had sex. We actually had sex.

A high-pitched squeak left me before I could stop it. I shoved my hand over my mouth, hoping he hadn’t heard it. The rumble of his chest told me Thane was very much awake and aware of me on top of him.

“Ye okay there, Kit?”

Yeah, great, just remembering how amazing your dick felt inside me last night and your dirty mouth saying things no one has ever said to me before and how I got off on it. Just fine, Thane, absolutely peachy.

What did I even say? He hadn’t spoken to me after it happened, but then again, it wasn’t like I made conversation either.

The whole thing overwhelmed me. There was no universe where I thought for one second he would pull my hair back and threaten to fuck me if I didn’t stop squirming on him. I hadn’t meant to, but I couldn’t get comfortable after our almost fight. My mind kept replaying the way I’d snapped at him. It didn’t feel good. But it also hadn’t escaped my notice the way he got hard as I did it. That distracted me even further.

My mind had been a mess. Then he had to go threaten me with something I desperately craved. Of course, I’d given in. I wanted him so much it burned. And fuck, had it been worth it.

“I’m fine,” I squeaked.

It was a woefully inadequate description of the way I was feeling about everything. I felt too much. It made my skin hot. Pressure erupted at my temples, but I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my body to stay under control. To not lose it on me.

A soothing touch came in the form of Thane running his hand down my bare back. He wasn’t too firm or too soft. The tension dissipated after a few moments, leaving me feeling pretty fucking vulnerable. Anything could set me off, but I couldn’t let it happen in front of him. I preferred to be alone when I had a meltdown. Then no one could see the messiness it always brought on. They couldn’t make judgements and think badly of me over something I had no control over.

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