Page 61 of The Edge of Never

I don’t think you know what you’ve done for me.

It was that thought that made me close my eyes and breathe them in. Let myself fully relax for the first time in years. I had a safe place here with Kit against me. An acceptance I never thought I would ever receive.

“Thank ye, mah pretty wee thing,” I whispered into their hair and let myself fade away into sleep too.

When I awoke, it was dark in the tent. Kit was fiddling with their fingers on my chest, letting me know they were no longer sleeping.

“Ye been awake long?”

“Not really. Was just preparing myself to get out of the sleeping bag and make us something for dinner.”

“I can dae that if ye’d like.”

I didn’t want Kit to feel like they had to do everything. It wasn’t any trouble for me to prepare food, as long as I didn’t jostle my ankle too much.

“Okay. I’m not going to say no to that.”

Kit unzipped the bag for me, and I slid out from underneath them. Turning the torch on, I noted their messy hair and the sleepy look in their icy eyes. We’d been in the same clothes for days, but at least I had the forethought to bring deodorant. And mouthwash, though I’d forgotten to tell Kit about that part.

Their gaze remained on me as I prepared one of the ration packs using the camping stove. It was likely safer to do this outside the tent, but it was far too cold to be out there. I wouldn’t subject Kit to that either.

We ate in a peaceful silence. It was an odd sensation to feel less on edge after talking about my worst memories. I could breathe more easily. My ankle was aching less too. I imagined putting weight on it would be an issue, but that was a worry for tomorrow. Tonight, I wanted to bask in this newfound relief, even if it was just for a moment.

“I’ve been trying not to think about how worried my dad must be. We usually text every day. He must know something is wrong by now,” Kit said as I tidied up our stuff.

“Would he alert the authorities?”

“Probably. I gave him a copy of the itinerary and Callan’s contact details, just in case.”

“Mibbe there’s a wee bit more hope we’ll get oot of this.”

Kit shrugged.

“I guess so. It doesn’t feel like we have much right now. The weather has only got worse. I could barely see a few feet in front of me when I went out earlier.”

“We can think aboot that tomorrow. Let’s no make yer birthday worse. I have something for ye, anyway.”

Their eyebrows quirked up at that.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

I handed them the bottle of mouthwash. Kit turned it over in their hands with wide eyes.

“Oh my god. I was thinking my breath must be awful. Did you forget you had this?”

“Aye.”

“Well, thank you.”

They gave me a shy smile before untwisting the cap and using it. They spat the liquid out in the empty thermos cup before handing over the bottle for me to use too.

Kit got up to empty it outside while also relieving themselves. I took the opportunity to do so myself before we bedded down for the night. After they disposed of the contents of the bottle, they came back in with a grimace.

“Fuck me. It snowed even more during the day. The tent is half covered again. Ugh, that’s a fucking pain, but like you said, we’ll think about it tomorrow.”

“Aye, that we will.”

They got tucked up in the sleeping bag with me again before turning out the torch.

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