Page 36 of The Edge of Never

Setting the water bottles down, I let out all of my frustrations on the snow, kicking at it to move it. When that stopped working, I used the shovel to clear a path around the tent. I’m sure Thane heard me doing it, but I didn’t care what he thought. He didn’t get a say in this.

By the time I was done, my arms and legs ached, and I was thoroughly out of breath. Unzipping the porch, I stepped inside and took off my outer layers. Then, with a huff of air, I made my way into the inner bit, zipping it up before I turned around to face him.

Thane was sitting up with his hands folded in his lap. His green eyes met mine. I sucked in a breath and willed him not to say anything because I was liable to snap again. Then we would be in trouble.

Thane had other ideas. Ones that caught me off guard and knocked the wind right out of my sails. And I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or curl up in his lap.

“Ye’re right. I havnae been fair tae ye. Am sorry. Thank ye for saving mah life.”

Twelve

Thane

Kit froze by the entrance of the tent with two water bottles in their hands and blinked several times. They hadn’t been expecting my words. I barely expected them either. However, while they were stomping about outside doing fuck knows what, I had time to think about the things they’d thrown at me. I couldn’t stomach the idea they’d risked their life to save mine.

Last night had been a bit of a blur. It didn’t register with me how close to death both of us had come. The avalanche had happened a few feet away from us. Then I’d fallen in that fucking water. If Kit had gone in with me… I didn’t even want to consider it. Losing another person, even if we weren’t close, wasn’t something I could handle.

Kit set down the water bottles before staring at me with wide eyes.

“You’re… you’re apologising to me?” they whispered as their hand rubbed the space where their heart lay.

They were half bent over since the tent wasn’t tall enough for them to stand up in. I couldn’t help running my gaze over their body. The sight of them in their thermals made something stir within me. Something I hadn’t felt for anyone… not even my wife. My dead wife. Fuck. I needed to stop this train of thought.

“Ye think am no capable of saying sorry?”

“Yes… I mean, no… I mean, sort of.”

Fighting back a smile, I shook my head and rubbed my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Am no always just a dick with an accent.”

Kit snorted. Their face flushed, although it had already been tinged pink from the cold. Clearly, they were thinking about what they said to me earlier. How they told me not to say their name. All but admitting it did something to them. I had my own thoughts about what that could be.

“Yeah, okay. Can I get in there next to you? It’s fucking cold outside.”

I nodded even as my skin prickled at the thought of being close to them again. Not like I would deny them warmth, but fuck, I didn’t know how to handle my reactions to Kit. They were messing me up.

Kit took off their glasses before climbing over me and squeezing themselves into the gap between me and the tent wall, getting all tucked up in the sleeping bag. They shivered, making me feel bad that they were cold. After all, they’d kept me warm last night. I should do the same for them now.

Despite my reservations, I carefully shifted down on the sleeping mat, mindful not to jog my ankle too much as I turned on my side. It ached like a bitch, but I ignored it. There were more important things at stake than my pain.

“Come here, I’ll warm ye up.”

I flinched at my choice of words. They sounded sexual. I hadn’t intended them that way. Maybe it was because I’d been having wayward thoughts about Kit. They flooded me with guilt and self-loathing.

Kit had pissed me off the entire time I’d been around them, and yet… and fucking yet… I found myself wanting to hold them against me. To protect them from the elements despite me being the injured one. To show them I had a caring bone in my body. One I had lost over the past two years, but I was trying to find it again. They made me want to find it.

But why? What the fuck is it about Kit that makes me feel this way?

“Are you sure?”

“Wouldnae have offered if I wasnae.”

“Well, okay.”

Kit moved closer, pressing themselves against me. I curled an arm underneath them so they could fully share in my body heat.

They let out a harsh breath when I tucked them up in my embrace like it was nothing. But it felt like something. It felt like a great deal of things I couldn’t afford to entertain.

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