Page 124 of The Edge of Never

“I went tae see Callan and finally told him aboot mah argument with Jenna… and he made me see I needed tae deal with mah anger towards her. That it was okay tae be angry at her for what she did. I would’ve lost her even if she lived. And that’s changed a lot for me.”

He squeezed my fingers.

“I wanted tae contact ye, but I was really fucking scared that I wasnae ready… and I wasnae enough. Callan keeps telling me that am an eejit for thinking that.”

Fuck, you were always enough, Thane. You always will be.

With my free hand, I cupped his bearded cheek and stroked my thumb along his mouth. He’d done so much work on himself while we’d been apart. I was so fucking proud of him.

“You’re more than enough,” I whispered, “you’re everything to me.”

He didn’t say anything, but I could tell from his expression he needed to hear that from me. So I pressed a kiss to his mouth before I pulled back and smiled.

Thane bit his lip and looked away.

“That’s no the only thing I discussed with Callan.”

“No?”

“I told him how I felt aboot ye… how it confused the fuck oot of me ‘cause I’ve never felt this way aboot anyone before. I spent mah whole life being told how ye should feel if ye like someone, but it’s never been that way for me. Then ye came along and I knew I was attracted tae ye, but it still wasn’t like how they said, so I didnae know what tae dae with that.”

I stilled in his lap. He looked incredibly nervous about saying this to me.

“Callan asked me questions and I tried mah best tae answer them… then he made a suggestion that made a lot of fucking sense the more I thought aboot it. That’s why they were here for dinner. Callan and Ruairí helped me work through all of this and I wanted tae say thank ye.”

He looked down at my legs. I didn’t know what he was about to tell me, but he had to know that it wouldn’t change anything. I would love Thane no matter what.

“Am asexual, Kit.”

“Okay.”

He looked up at me.

“Okay?”

I nodded.

“If that’s your sexuality, then that’s fine. I’m glad you worked it out and you’re not confused any longer.”

He blinked.

“Ye’re okay with it?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I mean, I have questions, but they are more about the practicalities of our relationship and not me having an issue with you being ace.”

“What are yer questions?”

I cocked my head to the side.

“Well, what are your feelings about sex? It’s okay if you don’t want it. We can deal with that together.”

His face was a picture. Thane clearly wasn’t expecting me to accept it so readily. As someone who had been given a lot of shit for being non-binary, queer and autistic, I would never do that to anyone else. And it wasn’t a problem for me, anyway. I understood attraction worked differently for every individual person, and that it came in many different forms.

He swallowed and squeezed my fingers again. Thane was going to have to get comfortable talking about this stuff with me. I wanted us to be clear about our boundaries.

“I enjoy sex with ye, Kit. I dinnae know everything I like, but I wannae continue exploring that ‘cause ye make me feel safe. Ye always have.” His bottom lip trembled. “Ye’re so fucking special tae me. Ye have no idea how much I want and need everything aboot ye.”

Before I knew what was happening, he’d let go of my hand, grabbed a hold of my face, and kissed me so hard, I thought I might drown in his passion. His other hand gripped my hip, tugging me closer until our bodies were pressed together. I could feel him growing hard the longer we kissed. My hips ground into him on instinct as I whimpered. Then I remembered that we weren’t done talking yet.

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