Page 118 of The Edge of Never

“Thank you, Dad. I’ll think about what you said.”

“I’ll support you no matter what, sweetheart. You deserve to be happy.”

We went back to watching TV together until it was time for me to go home to get some sleep before work in the morning. He’d given me a lot to consider. I’d known talking to him would help me, but I was afraid. So fucking afraid of everything. But Dad was right. I couldn’t spend my life in misery. So I had a decision to make… and it was going to be a difficult one either way I looked at it. There were so many risks involved, but maybe, just maybe, this one would be worth taking.

Thirty Eight

Thane

A beam of light shone through my windows as a car pulled up outside in my driveway. As it was dark, I couldn’t make out who it was. I stared at the car from the kitchen, watching as someone got out from the backseat. They dragged what looked like an overnight bag with them. They waved at the driver, who backed out of the drive, before turning towards the house.

My heart just about stopped in my chest when they walked up onto the deck and into the light. My feet were carrying me over to the front door before my mind could catch up. I slid it open before they had a chance to knock.

“Hi.”

My mouth refused to open. I thought for a second my eyes might be deceiving me, but they weren’t. Standing on my doorstep was the object of my heart’s desire. The one person I wanted most in the world.

What are you doing here, Kit?

“Can I come in? It’s cold out here.”

I stepped back on automatic. They walked in, set their bag down and closed the door before rubbing their hands together.

“So, um, I’m really sorry to just turn up unannounced like this, but I kind of decided on this trip last minute and I didn’t know how you’d feel about seeing me again.”

My hands itched to reach out and touch them. To make sure they were real. It had been almost a month since Kit had been here. It was all I could do to look at them as my heart thundered in my chest with want and need.

“There’s a lot I need to say to you. I spent the whole way up here rehearsing it in my head, and I’m hoping it comes out right, but I’m not that great at words, so yeah… um, here we go…”

I fisted my hands at my sides and licked my bottom lip.

Kit fiddled with the hem of their jumper. Their eyes were focused on something behind me.

“I…”

They closed their eyes and took a deep breath.

“God, now I’m here in front of you, I can’t fucking think any longer.”

Kit shook out their hands.

“Okay, okay.”

They opened their eyes and looked at me. I could tell from their expression this was incredibly difficult for them. I wanted to reach out and reassure them it was okay, that I was so fucking happy to see them, I barely knew what to do with myself.

“I shouldn’t have left without telling you how I feel. I was scared. I’m still really fucking scared, but I don’t want fear to dictate my life choices. And well, the thing is… I… I want more than just a week. I want… you. I want you so badly it hurts. The time I spent with you was everything to me. You are everything I never knew I wanted or needed in another person, and I want to be with you.”

They rubbed their chest and took another breath.

“I’ve been fucking miserable this last month without you, though, honestly, I wasn’t doing too great before we met. But when I got back, I did a lot of soul-searching and wondering what I was doing with my life. Being with you made me see that I’ve been living for other people, doing what they expected of me to make them happy rather than myself. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to make my own choices for me.”

I was glad they’d finally realised that. Kit should be living for themselves, doing what they wanted.

“So I’m in the process of quitting my job, giving up my flat and I’m going to move away from my hometown. It’s a huge change and it’s really, really terrifying because I don’t do well with change, but it’s like my dad said, sometimes change is for the better.”

I didn’t want to interrupt them with questions, but I had so fucking many right then. Kit said they wanted me. Well, I wanted them too… desperately. But what did they mean they were moving?

“It’s going to take a while, but I want to be here. It might sound like I’m doing it for you, but I came here knowing that you might turn me down and that’s okay. I’m still going to move anyway. I don’t want to be somewhere that is making me unhappy. This is for me. I’m doing it to make my life better.”

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