Page 76 of The Edge of Never

Before I could say another word, Kit dived back into the tent. They made a lot of noise as they rummaged around in it. They emerged with a triumphant look on their face brandishing a bright blue scarf.

“What are ye daeing with that?”

Kit grinned.

“Well, this is the brightest thing we have, so I’m going to tie it to the tent.”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll stick out against the snow, and they might see it if they fly overhead.”

I wanted to tell Kit that it was pointless doing that, but if I did, they might question why I had lost all hope of rescue. They’d ask why I didn’t think anyone would come for us. Ruining Kit’s optimistic outlook felt wrong. So I said nothing as I watched them tie the scarf to one of the guy ropes on the tent. I sat there while they went off to refill our water bottles and wondered how long it would take for them to give up all hope. That depressed the fuck out of me even more and left a sour taste in my mouth.

Kit didn’t notice my low mood when they returned and helped me back into the tent. I got tucked up in the sleeping bag with them again and held them tight, wishing I could see us getting out of this.

Kit wriggled against me after a few minutes. In response, I turned their face up to mine and kissed them. It was the only way I could distract myself. And to stop Kit from seeing how fucking bleak my thoughts were. Their soft mouth was the only thing saving me from drowning.

“I’m sleepy,” they murmured against my mouth.

I let them go so they could rest. And sank further into desolation. So much for wanting to live. I was already acting as though I was going to die.

The storm was over. That should give me hope, but I had none left. This was my punishment for my wife’s death. I’d found a small piece of happiness, only to have it ripped away cruelly.

“I dinnae wannae die,” I whispered to my sleeping Kit, “I dinnae want ye tae either, but am scared we willnae survive this. Am terrified, Kit. This feels worse than when Jenna died ‘cause I know it’s gonnae happen this time. Ye deserve so much better than this… than me. Am no enough. I cannae save ye.”

Hot, wet tears slid down my cheeks at the injustice of it. I cried as Kit slept, hating myself, hating everything. And wishing for a fucking miracle so I could spare Kit from the inevitable pain of losing it all.

Twenty Five

Kit

A strange noise woke me from a deep sleep. It sounded like whump, whump, whump. I found it rather disorientating after only hearing the wind for days on end.

Yesterday, after I had a nap, Thane had been very subdued for the rest of the day and into the evening. His mood plummeted the moment we started talking about what we should do regarding our situation. While I had tried to remain optimistic, he seemed to withdraw into himself. I didn’t know what was up with him, only that he didn’t want to talk about it. That much was clear by his one-word answers. So I left it alone, letting him stew in whatever he was thinking. If he’d wanted to tell me what was up, he could, but he hadn’t.

We went to bed early, considering it had been a tiring day for me in particular. I hadn’t expected a kiss from him, but I got one, which helped set my mind at ease. At least he wasn’t upset with me. Not sure I could take that after what happened between us.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked up at Thane. He had his eyes shut and his breathing was steady. The whumping noise grew louder. There was a whirling quality to it as well.

Wait, I think I recognise that sound.

I scrambled to unzip the sleeping bag, rushing out of it, and pulling on my clothes haphazardly.

“Kit?” came Thane’s groggy voice.

I had no time to tell him what was going on. He could hear it himself if he listened hard enough. I had to see what was going on.

My fingers unzipped the inner tent. I crawled out, digging around for the outer zip, and almost ripped it open. I dashed out, my head turning up to the sky, and sure enough, I could see the source of the noise. My arms immediately went up. I started waving at the red and white helicopter in the sky. The one hovering overhead.

“It’s a helicopter, Thane,” I shouted, practically laughing with glee. “It’s a fucking helicopter!”

We’re saved. We’re actually fucking saved.

There had been many times I worried we would never get out of this. That we would die out there together because they couldn’t find us. Maybe if we had managed a few more days, Thane might have been able to walk, but I hadn’t liked those odds. It didn’t matter now. Rescue was here. And I could’ve cried from relief. But I didn’t. I had to keep my cool for now.

A few minutes later, a couple of people descended from the helicopter on a line nearby. I rushed over to meet them. They introduced themselves as being from the coastguard rescue team. I told them what had happened to Thane since I was more concerned about getting him medical attention than anything else.

Once I finished explaining, I led them over to the tent. Thane was dressed by that time. We helped him out of the tent so I could pack everything up. I heard them talking outside with him, but I didn’t listen to what they were saying.

---