Page 66 of Fighting Fate

18

The door is ajar when I reach Willow’s floor. Something feels off about the fact that Willow hasn’t come to greet me the way she usually does. Panicked voices sound from the bathroom, and as I approach, Beth is backing out.

“You’re going to have to tell hi…hi!” she chokes, freezing at the sight of me. She looks like a deer in headlights as she waves at me. “Hi, Hulk Man.”

My eyes dart to her hand, focusing on what she’s clutching for dear life. What the fuck?

“They’re mine,” Beth cringes, still waving the pregnancy tests in the air. “I’m sorry. I should go because…because I…I…”

“Beth,” Willow calls her name lightly, finally coming out of the bathroom. There’s a silent exchange between them that sets me on edge.

“I’m sorry,” Beth mouths at her when Willow puts her hand out, and she puts the test in it.

“It’s fine.” The small smile Willow gives her doesn’t reach her eyes, and while I wait for her to look at me, all I can think is, What the fuck?

“Call you later, okay?” Beth gives her a brisk hug before pausing in front of me.

It’s obvious she’s got something to say as she stares at me for a beat, dragging out the awkward silence that’s only making my insides knot tighter.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is everything I didn’t want.

With my throat drying, I move to step around her. We’re side by side when she whispers, “Don’t be a dick.”

Willow nudges her towards the door, putting the pregnancy tests down on the coffee table on the way. I’m instantly drawn to them. It’s not curiosity or disbelief. There’s nothing but dread as I stare down at the tests.

My pulse is racing while my roaring thoughts spin around my head relentlessly. Fuck, how did this happen? How the fuck did I let it happen? What the fuck?

I’m frozen, staring down at the table when Willow comes to stand beside me. We’re both silent, but I feel her anxiety, and it only feeds mine. All the unspoken thoughts between us are screaming in the air around us.

“Rory…” Willow whispers my name, turning to look at me.

The heat of her gaze is burning holes in my fucking soul. It doesn’t matter how badly my hands are aching to hold her or how desperately every cell of my being wants to get closer to hers. None of that matters because there is a chasm growing between us the longer we’re quiet. Our silence is deathly and loaded with all the things neither of us wants to say aloud. Things that we won’t be able to take back.

“Rory?”

“What do you want to do about it?” The question lingers between us while my stare remains glued to the array of pink and blue lines.

Willow sits on the coffee table beside the tests, obviously pondering my question. Her hands tremble as she picks up one of the sticks and holds it out in front of her. The distance between us is growing and growing until we feel like we’re worlds apart.

“I don’t know,” she finally says, letting out a long breath. “This…I…” With a shrug, Willow clutches the test tightly in one hand.

“What do you want to do, Willow?” I ask, taking a step back and turning to focus on anything but the clusterfuck in front of me.

“Are you going to look at me?” There’s a tremble to her voice that guts me. The sound is a sucker punch that cloys the air in my lungs.

Problem is that she doesn’t get what this means. She doesn’t understand how badly this complicates everything. This is the single worst thing that could happen to us right now. There’s too much going on. Too much up in the air. And we’re just getting started.

“Are you going to answer my question?” I say, finding her gaze. Giving her what she wants…what I want. I want her. I’ve always wanted Willow. From the instant I laid my eyes on her pretty smile. There’s never been a moment where I haven’t yearned for her since the night we met. She and I were fate. But this? This isn’t what I wan—

“I didn’t want this,” she tells me, pulling me out of my thoughts. “And it’s obvious that you don’t either…”

“This is my worst nightmare.”

Tears swim in her eyes. The stillness that follows my statement is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It’s tearing me apart inside and filling me with regret, even though the thought of having a kid right now terrifies me.

“Okay.” Willow nods, swallowing down whatever it is she needs to say.

I hate that I’m doing this to her, but she does not know what this means. What this does.