Page 56 of Fighting Fate

“It’s your move, but regardless, I’m going to be here. I’ll just tip my head back and close my eyes. You let me know what you want to do.”

“I think I’m all bathed out, and you have to be up early tomorrow.”

I watch as she gets up, following her while she pulls the plug and turns the shower on to rinse off. By the time we get out of the bath, there’s a tense silence between us. It follows us into the bedroom while we get ready for bed.

“Beth and I are meeting up tomorrow,” Willow says, obviously trying to fill the air with something other than the backlash of the non-conversation we had in the bath. “She’s working this weekend, so we’re doing a mini girls’ brunch just the two of us.”

“Good. Maybe she can cheer you up.” The sound of my statement settles too late, and the stricken expression on Willow’s face hits like a sucker punch, dragging as she sits in front of her make-up desk and starts applying moisturiser.

“It’s not like that, Rory…”

“It’s not what I meant, Willow.”

“Sure it is.”

“Does Beth know?” I ask, sitting on the bed.

“Yes.”

“Dorian?”

Her eyes flash to mine in the mirror. After a long second, she shakes her head. “She wouldn’t understand. My family would be…livid with me.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Her nonchalant shrug does nothing to disguise her discomfort and panic as she focuses back on screwing the lid for her face cream back on. “I had an affair with a married man.”

There’s no way. The Willow I know wouldn’t do something like that. It’s bullshit, and she may be many things, but she’s not that kind of person. She cares too much and… “What?”

With a groan, she sets the pot down before braiding her hair loosely. “This is why I didn’t want to talk about it. I feel terrible enough for it. I hate what I did, and I don’t need anyone looking at me like…like that!”

I’m not looking at her like anything. Nothing’s changed. I still see the same beautiful and stubborn woman that I can’t catch my breath around. I still see someone that I would lay everything on the line for.

“We all make mistakes,” I venture.

In my gut, I know there’s more to it. Willow has that guarded look on her face that says she’s trying to hold on to something to justify her hurt because she believes that it’s the only outcome from this.

“I’ve seen the damage affairs cause first-hand. My brother’s ex cheated on him, and it didn’t stop me. It doesn’t matter that Peter lied to me…it doesn’t matter. None of it does because I still did it.”

“But you regret it.”

“More than you’ll ever know, and every time I see him, I hate myself that little bit more.” Her voice thickens as she carries on. “We all make mistakes, but this one refuses to go away.”

Standing, I go to her side, lifting her chin so that she’s looking me in the eye. “I told you, right or wrong, I got your back. Whatever happened before me is irrelevant to the two of us. But you got to trust me to take care of you, or at the very least try to make shit better.”

“You can’t make this better, Rory. I opened myself up to someone that only ever hurt me in every way he could. It’s my fault and my problem. Besides, you’ve saved me twice from him already.”

“And I’ll do it again and again. I’ll keep doing it.”

“Unfortunately, I shat where I eat, and the stench of it isn’t going away. Peter won’t let it.” A manic laugh bubbles from her as she gets up and gets on the bed, setting her alarm as always so she can do her morning yoga before the sun is up. “He loves me so much he can’t let me go.”

“Bullshit!”

“Oh, I know,” she laughs again, and the sound turns into a dark sob as she kneads her wrist. “If he loved me so much, he would leave me alone instead of showing up on my doorstep and at the theatre. He would’ve never hurt me when I ended things.”

There’s a lot to process in that one remark. While I compartmentalise it all so I don’t lose it in front of her, I focus on the smaller of the two issues.

“Your doorstep? That guy?”

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