Page 87 of Invoking Ruin

Even if Dionysus had come around sooner, I’d already fallen into a trap the second I kept that stupid knife.

I shake my head. “This isn’t your fault.”

“Isn’t it? You offered me everything I’d ever wanted. If we’d left Hera’s garden then, they wouldn’t have found us.”

“They would have eventually.” The inevitability of this moment sinks like a stone. I was always going to end up here, in this cell. Nyx had been playing a game about ten steps ahead of all of us, but especially me. The strategy required would have been impressive, if she hadn’t decided to stop playing and take her ball home.

We’re not the same. Still, I can understand, now, how she feels.

It all makes sense now. A terrible, personal sort of sense. She couldn’t let go.

“She didn’t want to live without Erebus,” I say. “Seven hundred years, and she still can’t let go. She’d rather end the whole world.”

What wouldn’t I do for Dionysus, now that he’s truly mine?

Dionysus is frowning at me, as though he can read my thoughts. He grips my chin. “You’re nothing like her.”

“Aren’t I, though?” If our roles had been reversed, and Dionysus dead, I would have done anything to bring him back. Failing that, it’s not so far a leap to imagine ending the whole world.

“I’m not dead, Atê,” he reminds me, surrounding me with his strength, his presence. “I don’t think I’ve thanked you for that, yet.”

The idea of Dionysus thanking me is almost laughable. He hasn’t thanked me once in all of eternity, and I’m not holding my breath. “You’re not dead yet.”

In a few days, or hours—I'm not sure—we’ll all be dust.

Unless the end of the world can be prevented.

Though it pains me, I push Dionysus back and step free of his embrace. “Back to the end of the world. What exactly did they say they found in the crack, holding it open?”

“They don’t know what it is. It’s too dangerous to get close. Not even Helios dares.”

That useless little snitch just doesn’t want to be the first to die. That bulky chariot of his wouldn’t be able to escape the Void, once it started drawing him in.

Anyone going in would have to be incredibly fast, or nimble…

Or ready to not come back.

Nyx didn’t sacrifice anyone holding open the Void. She wouldn’t have wanted to. We are alike, in all the worst ways, because I know exactly what Nyx has done. It’s exactly what I would do if I had no hope of ever getting Dionysus back, if he had ceased to exist.

Except I can prevent it.

I might be the only one who can.

Certainty weighs me down like a heavy cloak. Whoever said that knowing the right thing to do is freeing is a liar. I’m more trapped than ever.

But my fate doesn’t matter as long as Dionysus is spared. He’ll be free to roam the world. Even if it means he has to do it without me.

Oh, how I hate that thought.

I force myself to look at him, digging deep, calling on all of my power. He’s not easy to convince. If he’s expecting me to compel him, I might not be able to do it at all.

“Do the others know you came down here?”

He shakes his head. “I stole the keys from Apollo’s office while they were all arguing. They weren’t paying much attention to me.”

No, they have better things to do than to keep tabs on wild gods.

They won’t notice what I do next, either. I hope.

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