Page 71 of Invoking Ruin

“You like that, don’t you? Me degrading you.” She doesn’t answer me, can’t really, but the hunger in her eyes is enough. More than enough.

That hunger—or it is something else?—topples a barrier in me, unlocks a door I thought long shut. When was the last time anyone looked at me the way she does? As though she knows every single dark piece of me, everything I keep hidden.

I want to keep this feeling. The look in her eyes.

If she’s in Tartarus, I’ll never see it again.

My grip on her hair tightens, and I thrust my dick deep down her eager throat, groaning as she takes it all.

I won’t last long like this. It’s too good, she feels too good, and she knows it.

She swallows around me, and I pull back with a groan. My cum splatters her face, her chest.

We’re both breathing hard. Staring at one another.

Once again, I’ve made a mess of her.

I could walk away, just like I did last time, but I stay where I am, just watching her, the way her lips part, tongue darting out to taste a drop of my release on the corner of her mouth.

This time, I left her needy. Even if I couldn’t feel that need in her like a knot in my belly, she practically perfumes the air with it.

I push the robe off her shoulders and scoop her up in my arms. She nestles against my chest as I carry her into the pool for a third time.

She’s quiet, just watching me as I clean her face, trailing wet fingers over her cheeks, splashing water into her hair until I’m sure all of my release is gone.

I usually pride myself on how easily I can read Atê, but right now, she’s a mystery.

Or maybe I’m the one who’s a mystery. I have no idea what I’m feeling, which isn’t like me. I can put a name to all pleasures.

“What do you want?” she asks, her voice low, uncertain.

No words form. I don’t have an answer for her. I know what I should want: to go to Olympus and be with my brothers. To live within the lines of family, of duty. To help ensure our existence continues.

What would my father say now, if he were alive? The last time we spoke had ended in an argument.

He’d wanted me with my family, and I’d run away.

I can’t just run a second time.

But in the same breath, I’m certain a life on Olympus is the last thing I want. The knife Atê holds onto could end us all, but even with it not fifty paces away from me, I can’t say I care very much.

I’m not meant to be the noble one in the family.

The vagabond life Atê described, however, I can see myself enjoying.I was made to explore this wide world and sample all it has to offer. My—Sandro’s—memories are filled with the knowledge of the world outside the small Italian city Atê had stashed me in. Even in my mortal guise, all I had wanted was to escape the home I felt stuck in. Sandro had saved up so many euros for flights and hotels, all useless and abandoned now.

I could go travel the world on my own. With my power and godhood restored, I don’t need money. My own powers will get me wherever I care to go.

There’s only one thing in my way.

Atê watches me, her arms crossed over her chest as though she can guard herself from me, even while sitting in my lap.

The irony. She finally has me, and she’s warier than ever.

This goddess can never be happy. Getting our deepest desires is often the worst thing that can happen to us. I’m sure I’m no exception.

“Well?” she presses. “I asked you what you want, and you’re just staring at me.”

“To go my own way.” The words don’t feel right, like I expect them to, but I don’t take them back or amend them. We’re too destructive to stay together. This is what’s best for both of us. I can’t forgive her, either, and if we keep going about as we have, I’ll truly hurt her. She’ll never look at me in that perfect, yearning way again.

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