Page 70 of Mountains Divide Us

The ruckus started up again at seven the next morning, and that stupid song, “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” became the soundtrack to my misery. I’d never forget the greasy sound of the devil’s voice when I woke in his living room as he stumbled on his way out the door to buy cigarettes at the Circle K. He said, “Your ma’s dead. Run along now.”

There had been no one for me to call, no one to come for me, to take me home with them and tell me everything would be okay. No one to care if I passed my test or not—no one to care that I never showed up to take it. Our hovel of an apartment was a respite for a few days, but then people came knocking, wanting rent or money for electricity, and the little food I had ran out, so I left.

Being arrested for stealing a year later was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. It was what led me to the home for boys where my adoptive parents later found me. It wasn’t their fault that I was already closed off, that I could never let them in.

The military became my family, and later, when I moved to Wisper and my ex-wife left, I became a part of the community here. I wanted to be more to the community, and I had planned on it with the football thing, but maybe I’d been holding back there too. It was time. I needed this community just as much as it needed me. Wisper used to be a fresh start where no one knew me. No one knew the sad, neglected kid I had been, but now, it was my home. It had come time for me to treat it that way.

A twinge of regret tugged at my stomach, though, when I thought of my adoptive parents still down in Texas, still begging me to be in their lives.

Those cards Samantha had found on my desk were only reminders. I’d always felt like my adoptive family wasn’t missing anything without me around. I made the required trips home every once in a while for a quick Christmas visit or every now and then for Mama K and Eugene’s anniversary, but mostly I stayed away. I’d always figured they preferred me to stay away, the kid who’d rejected their love.

But now I’d started to think maybe there was more to all that than I let myself believe. Maybe they really did want me in their lives. And maybe I wanted them in mine. Maybe I had something to offer my family. Wasn’t I the guy always thinking about wanting one? Well, I already had a family. I just had to show up more.

Sitting in my truck outside the station, I called Mama K.

“Hi, Frankie. How’s your day?”

I didn’t think before I said it. “I wish you’d stop callin’ me that. I ain’t a kid.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you’re not a kid. It’s just… when I think about you, I see a fourteen-year-old version of you. Quiet, skinny little thing. Stubborn and rigid.”

I hung my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you… I wanted to ask you something. I’m hopin’ you’ll be honest with me.”

“’Course I will. Don’t you ever doubt it.”

“Did you… Do y’all regret adoptin’ me?”

“What? No! How could you think that?”

“It’s just, I’ve pushed you away. I’ve been so closed off since my—since you found me, and I… Didn’t that piss you off?”

“Oh, my boy. No. It made me sad. It frustrated me ’cause I didn’t know how to reach you. Then you joined the Army, and it was the first thing in your life to put a light back in your eyes, so we went along with it. But I missed you somethin’ awful. I still do. I hoped you’d come around after you had a little distance from all the sadness in your young life. I still hope for that.” She paused. “But Frank, if we ain’t what you need, that’s okay. As long as you’re happy, that’s all we want for you.”

If that wasn’t a kick to the ass, I didn’t know what was. They loved and wanted me, even though I’d been nothing but a point of pain in their lives. I rejected them and acted like I didn’t want them, but still, they loved me, and I didn’t even share their DNA.

* * *

Finally, on Thursday morning before my shift, Shelley called me early to tell me about a possible break-in at the gas station, so I headed there before I picked Samantha up. When I pulled up in front of the Stop and Go, the manager, Ted, met me outside, bundled up like a snowman, holding a shovel.

“’Bout time,” he said, leaning on the handle as I parked and got out of my truck.

Okay, yeah, I wanted to be more accessible to my community, but I wasn’t starting with Ted. He had an uncanny ability to cause a headache any time I talked to him. “Show me the broken window.”

He turned, waving me inside with his hand, setting the shovel against the building. “You wanna tell Shelley to stick to her job? I don’t need her guesses about what might’ve happened. I called to report a damn crime, but she kept on and on about how it was probably just a tree branch bangin’ around in the wind we had last night.”

“The window, Ted?”

“Deputy of the year right here. So friendly.” He rolled his eyes. “C’mon.”

Did he want to build a snow fort together, or did he want me to investigate the crime he was yammering on about?

When we were standing in the storage room in the back, I looked around, seeing a whole lot of nothing. “G’on then. Tell me what happened.”

“Nothin’ happened. It was like this when I opened up this mornin’.” He pointed to the door leading out to the back alley. The small square window set into it was cracked but not breached.

“Uh, Ted, that’s a cracked window, not a broken window. And this back room doesn’t look disturbed.”

“No, but there’s blood outside in the snow by the back door.”

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