Page 27 of As You Crave It

“If just friends is what you want, then that’s what you get.”

“And you know—” she nudged him with her elbow “—if that friendship comes with more physical things, then all the better. But let’s keep it casual.”

“Casual?”

“You know how satisfying it is to scratch that eight-year itch.”

Quin laughed, but it felt hollow. He was glad to have Celia back in his life. He knew that she’d been upset but he had no idea how much he’d hurt her. But scratching an itch? That was all he was to her. She wanted casual? If that was all she was offering, then he could do that.

He sighed and looked up at the sky. “Reid is dating a woman now. She’s great. I think he’s going to propose soon.”

“Is he? That’s fabulous. He deserves someone.” She paused. “We all do,” She finished, dreamily.

“Yeah, and I’m happy for him—for both of them. But I can’t help but think that I’ll never have that.” That was the least of his issues. He wouldn’t admit on Jared Foster’s yacht that he was feeling inferior professionally. Emotionally, that was another issue.

“What? Do you want to settle down, get married?”

“No. Not really. Not yet, anyway. But I’ve never even come close to that.”

“No? You’ve never been in love?”

“Never. Have you?”

“Just once,” she told him. “It didn’t end well.” He knew that she was talking about him. “But I like to think that when the right guy comes along again, it’ll happen.”

“That’s what I always thought,” he said. “That someone will come along. But now I’m afraid that she’s already come along, and I screwed it up.” He looked at Celia. He wasn’t sure if he was talking about her or not, but it could have been any woman. One he liked well enough for a fun weekend but pushed away before he ever got to know her. Maybe his soul mate had moved on from him and was now married with kids and a dog. He looked at Celia and their eyes connected. Or maybe she was sitting right beside him.

Quin had been given a second chance with her. But it wasn’t one that he deserved. And Celia certainly deserved better than him.

She took his glass from his fingers and poured herself a little rum. “I don’t think so. I think when the right woman comes along, you’ll know.”

“But what if I missed out on the opportunity for love and a future with a woman because I was too stupid and immature to see it?”

Celia had paused raising the glass to her lips, as if she was frozen in place. Their eyes met.

“I don’t think that you would have missed it,” she told him. “You’re a smart guy. You know how to read women.”

“Yeah, and maybe that was my problem. What if I was too consumed with sex and forgot about making an actual connection? I’ve never been close to a woman,” he confessed.

“You’ve never been close to woman? I thought we were close.”

“You were different.”

“So you’ve only been physical with women. No relationships?”

“I think there’s a step I missed along the way. I mean, it’s no surprise. I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

“You’ve never had a girlfriend? I knew that about you when we were friends back in the day, but not even since then?”

“Lots of casual hookups, Tinder dates, booty calls, one-night stands...but no actual relationships.” He shook his head. “Pathetic, right? Maybe I’m missing something, emotionally or mentally. Thirty years old, and relationships are never something I learned.”

“That’s really sad, dude,” she told him, frowning. Quin looked away. He didn’t want her pity.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he told her. “I know that on paper, my life is fine. It’s just this one thing that I don’t know anything about.”

She giggled. “Maybe you need some boyfriend lessons,” she said.

He knew she was joking, and as ridiculous as boyfriend lessons sounded, a moment of inspiration hit him. He paused and looked over at Celia. “Maybe you can help me out with that.”

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