Page 14 of As You Crave It

Quin blew out a breath; having to tell the story again made him wish he’d just gone on home. He’d told Gemma, but he’d never told his older, sensible, more old-fashioned brother the full unvarnished version. “We were friends. But it got complicated.”

“What happened? Who’s this girl?” Lila asked, as she took a seat at the table next to Reid.

“We were best friends in college,” Quin explained. “We had a great relationship. We shared almost everything.”

“‘Almost everything’?” Lila asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, extra emphasis on almost,” Quin confirmed. “It never got physical between us until graduation. I threw this huge party. We had too much to drink and she led me up to my bedroom. We fooled around a little. And then she told me that she had feelings for me. But I, of course, didn’t handle it so well.”

“What did you do?”

“I told her to get dressed and we left the room. She was hurt then, of course, but I imagine it was nothing compared to seeing me an hour later naked in the hot tub with two other girls.”

Lila gasped and he heard Reid grumble some sort of curse around his coffee mug. Reid was always disappointed in him over something, so that tone was nothing new.

“You’re such a dirtbag,” Gemma reminded him, not surprised, as she’d heard the story before.

“I know. It wasn’t exactly my finest moment,” he admitted. “The next day, I tried to call Celia, but her mom told me that she’d left town for New York. We never kept in touch.”

A silence filled the room, and the shame that Quin still felt over that night still hung on his shoulders. But the disappointment coming from his family affected him the most. Quin tried to lighten the mood with a smile. “Well, that’s the thing I’m most ashamed of. What about anyone else? Any deeper, darker secrets you want to share with the room?”

“I don’t understand, though,” Reid said finally. “Why did you freak out when she told you she had feelings for you?”

“I don’t know. I’ve asked myself that every day for the past eight years.”

“You were scared,” Gemma remarked.

“Scared of what?”

“You were scared of actual romantic emotion. You pushed Celia away and found the hot-tub girls because you’re scared of any sort of romantic connection, besides the physical.”

“Come on, Gemma, that’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked. “You’ve never been in a relationship that’s lasted more than a weekend. Sure, you’ve had women, but what happens once they get too close, or call you to chat and not have a booty call?”

He thought about that. The minute a woman got a little close, he dropped her like a hot pan. “What does that have to do with Celia then?”

Lila shrugged. “I obviously don’t know you as well as your sister does, but maybe she’s right. Maybe you pushed her away because you were afraid of catching feelings, too. Or maybe you already had already caught feelings, and realized that you felt the same way, but you weren’t ready for it. So, you fucked two girls in a hot tub.”

“You really have a way with words, darling,” Reid said with a laugh, draping his arm around Lila’s chair.

“Admit it, you love my potty mouth.”

“I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

“You didn’t always say that.” She looked at him with meaning. Quin smiled at his older brother and the woman he loved. They’d been through a lot and Reid had almost pushed her away. But they’d found their way, and they were happy.

Lila turned in her seat to face him again. “Anyway, back to Quin. Maybe you thought that if you could repulse her, she’d be the one to walk away so you didn’t have to take any responsibility in it not working out?”

“Or,” Gemma began, “even then if it did work out, that would have scared you, too. You’re too scared of being vulnerable with a woman.”

“I didn’t really come her to be psychoanalyzed. I came for bacon,” he told the women, biting into a crispy piece for emphasis.

“I think you started it, Quin,” Reid said with a smirk.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this, Reid.”

“So what happened last night? Why was it so confusing for you?” he asked. “Spare us the intimate details, though.”

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