Page 51 of Kiss of Ruin (Brutal Empire)

“You won’t lose him. He’ll be back.” I lift my head and see Isabel coming into the kitchen. “He was a wreck when he left to go to New York that day, but remember what I said the last time, he’ll come back after he cools down.”

“I don’t think he’s coming back this time.”

“Trust me. I know my son. And he’s never given a damn about someone the way he does about you. Anyone else he would have let you suffer for your choices. Not you. He was determined to get to New York and keep Elena from getting her hands on you again.”

My heart couldn’t take another round of hope.

Most of the time it only led to disappointment. And I don’t want to be disappointed. Not again. I push back from the stool.

“I think I’m going to go lay down again.”

Sofia jumps up and meets me at the door. “Scar, you can’t stay in bed all day.”

I take her hands in mine. “I know and I promise I won’t stay in my room all day tomorrow. Tonight, I need this.”

“I’m holding you to it.”

“I know you will.” I trudge down the long halls to my wing of the house.

The silence and solitude had been exactly what Nico and I needed. Now it feels like it trapping me in. There’s no escaping the sounds I don’t think I will ever forget. Screams.

Gunshots.

Death.

The rattle in my ears. I shut the bedroom door behind me, falling against it with my back. I slide down the door to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest.

The room blurs. There has to be a way I can get Nico to see why I had to do what I did.

Why I had to do anything to save our business.

Well, his business now. I’d fought so hard to convince Carlos and Andreas that I deserved to be in charge. That I knew more about how things ran in New York than anyone else.

Looking back, I realize I never wanted to run the family. I didn’t want to be left behind. Left behind on a plane to fly to Miami alone after one of the worst nights of my life. Nico pulled me out of there so quickly, I don’t even know what happened to the rest of our men. Or Antonio.

Not even Frankie.

Had he been killed in the gunfire or had he been able to hide back behind the dumpster until a member of the DeLuca family could get him out of there.

Had killing Elena been worth it?

Questions I would probably never have the answer to. Not unless I ask.

I push myself from the floor and reach for my phone. Nico would have the answer to my questions, but could I do that to myself? Open lines of communication that may not be returned.

Would he even be willing to answer if I call?

The debate rages in me, eventually I give in and send him a quick text asking if everyone is okay and telling him I’m sorry I hurt him.

I don’t know if it will make a difference. At least I know I tried.

Knowing there is nothing more I can do today, I set the phone on the table and climb between the sheets once again, ready to escape in the peace that only sleep can bring.

* * *

I lift my phone for the hundredth time that morning. I stayed true to my word and didn’t stay in bed all day. Camila rewarded me with my favorite breakfast that I have successfully pushed around my plate more times than I brought my fork to my lips with food on it.

“It helps if you actually put it in your mouth,” Sofia whispers in my ear.

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