Page 22 of The Risk of Falling

I look away and join in the conversation with my other brothers to avoid Drew’s stare any longer. Just as I hoped, he joins in, as if the silent exchange between us didn’t even happen.

• • •

To my surprise, Drew and I have been alone in his Jeep for at least fifteen minutes, and he has yet to bring up the fact that he’s caught me staring at Abbey more than once more. We’ve talked about everything under the sun except that topic. I know my brother, though. He hasn’t forgotten. He is just biding his time, waiting for the right moment. Waiting for the moment when he feels he’ll get the answers he is looking for from me.

“Rosie said her mom and dad are insisting on paying for our honeymoon, too,” Drew tells me. “Can you believe that?”

Shaking my head, I respond, “That’s crazy but pretty awesome of them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I told Rosie. She is adamant they will not concede, and we need to just give into to them,” Drew explains. “I guess, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me feel, I have to let them.”

I reach over and squeeze Drew’s shoulder, “Look, bro, it’s a gift. It’s okay to let them do this, and in no way does it indicate you can’t pay for it yourself. It’s old school, and since you guys refused to let them pay for the wedding, you need to give them something.”

Drew pulls into my driveway, shutting the car off. “You’re right,” he says as he unbuckles his seat belt and gets out. Unbuckling my own seat belt, I follow him. As soon as I get out and am walking up to the house, I hear Gizmo barking. She knows I’m home. I can hear her excitement, and I brace myself for her exuberant greeting I will receive as I open the front door.

“Whoa! Whoa, girl!” I tell her, pushing her back gently as she tries jumping into my arms. “Calm down…I’m happy to see you, too. And Uncle Drew came in to see you.” She sits, wagging her tail, and I can tell it takes every ounce of control she has to stay in one place.

Drew laughs, “Hey, Gizmo, my girl.” He reaches his hand out, giving her head a rub. Gizmo licks his hand happily.

I make my way to the back of the house, “Let’s go, girl, time to go out.” I hear her large feet trotting behind me. When I open the back door, she darts out happily. Turning back toward Drew, I find him leaning against the kitchen counter, legs crossed at the ankles and arms crossed over his chest. His gaze is locked on me. I stop mid-stride and stare back at him, knowing what is coming next and still not sure I am prepared to give him answers. Neither of us says a word for some time before Drew finally breaks the silence. “I was really hoping you would bring up whatever is happening between you and Abbey.”

I want to say,I don’t know what you mean. Deny it. Or maybe even,there is nothing going on. But I can’t because that would be a lie, and I can’t lie to Drew. I can’t even look him in the eye, so I focus on the wood floor of the kitchen. I say the only truth I have for him right now, “I don’t know what is happening between Abbey and me.” I don’t elaborate. I try to end it right there.

Drew straightens and moves his hands to his hips. “So, there is something going on?”

Damn it, I should have known we weren’t finished with this conversation, but a guy can hope. Running my fingers through my hair, I hang my head, gathering my thoughts. Looking up at my brother, I nod, “Yeah, there is something.” I release a sigh as I hear Drew whisper, “Fuck,” under his breath. “I’m sorry, man. It happened before we even knew our connection with you and Rosie.” I start pacing. “We tried…I tried to stay away. But…” Drew puts his hand up to stop me.

“Parker, you can’t hurt her,” Drew states simply.

His tone makes me feel a little defensive. I stop and stare at him, shaking my head. “Shit, Drew. Why the fuck do you think I am going to hurt her?” He eyeballs me, so I continue. “Maybe I’m the one who is going to get hurt. Like I said, we tried distancing ourselves. Pretended there wasn’t this unexplainable chemistry between us. We worried about messing things up and causing issues with you and Rosie.” I start pacing again. Drew still hasn’t moved or taken his eyes off me. “I don’t know how to explain it, Drew, but I don’t think I can deny whatever I’m feeling either.”

My back is to him, but I hear Drew get closer to me. Soon his hand is resting on my shoulder. “Parker, I’m sorry I insinuated you would be the one to hurt Abbey. Honestly, I know Abbey well enough to know she would never let herself close enough to get hurt. Parks, she doesn’t do relationships.”

“Drew, I don’t do relationships either,” I remind him. “I’m going crazy over this girl, though. I’m thinking about more than what she can give me in one night. Instead, I’m thinking about what I can give her. What we can be together.”

“I’ve seen this coming. I’ve seen it for some time now. The way your eyes linger a little longer than normal when you guys think no one is looking. The occasional unease.” Drew walks over to my small kitchen table and sits down. “Shit. That first day I introduced you guys and Mom. You already knew each other. That must have been the reason you both got all weird.” Looking over at me, Drew asks, “Where is Abbey with all of this?”

Shrugging, I join him at the table before answering. “She says this is impossible,” I tell him. “Abbey has a tough armor to penetrate. I don’t think she trusts me.” It’s the first time I’ve truly said it out loud, and it hurts right in the center of my chest. The fact she doesn’t trust me bothers me more than anything.

“Abbey doesn’t easily trust anyone, Parks,” Drew says.

Sighing, I divulge, “Drew, I don’t know what the right thing is to do?”

“Parker, I can’t tell you what is right. I only know Rosie and I love both you and Abbey. We only want you both to be happy.”

“I know, and that is what makes it all so much harder,” I tell him.

Drew stands up and looks down at me. “The one piece of advice I have for you before you do anything is to be certain. Be absolutely sure what you want from and with Abbey. Make sure you don’t hurt her, but you also have to protect yourself. Because not only do you need to be certain about how you feel, but you also need to be sure how Abbey feels, too.” I stand up to walk Drew out. “I’m not going to say anything to Rosie for now. It will only worry her. You know how she is. She already worries enough about you and Abbey. Not to mention all that is on her plate with the wedding. I love you, Parks.” Drew is not only my brother, but he’s my best friend. There’s a lot at stake when it comes to Abbey and me. Whatever this is between us needs to be handled with care. There are too many people involved in the outcome.

When we reach the front door, Drew turns to me and wraps me in a brotherly hug. “Thanks for being a good brother,” I utter affectionately.

Drew pulls back and smiles, “You’re a good brother, too.” Opening the door, Drew walks out to his Jeep, hops in, and drives off, waving as he pulls away.

I have some real decisions to make, and it needs to be sooner rather than later. The only problem is that my decision about how to move forward with Abbey isn’t only mine to make.

Sixteen

ABBEY

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