Page 51 of Love Wasted

Past

Cass: Age 21

Paxton: Age 23

“Can you believe he’s still not coming home?” Laney rolls her eyes as she paints her toenails a bright shade of pink. She just returned from Paxton’s graduation from NYU. I didn’t go; I made an excuse of having summer classes and no time. It’s been five years since I last saw him. I’ve only spoken to him once, on New Year’s a couple of years ago. It’s like he never existed, except he did, and if I’m honest, I never stopped thinking of him.

“Not at all,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Nope.” She uses a piece of cotton to wipe away a little polish she got on the side of her toe. “He’s going straight to London. He’ll be there a year, and then who knows where he will go after. What a butthole. I mean, I hate to admit it, but I miss him and was hoping he would come home.”

He’s not coming home, and maybe it’s for the best. Maybe I can finally commit to Richard fully; I’m not sure what’s been holding me back anyway.

“Well, good for him. It’s what he always wanted. Pax has always wanted to work for a big architecture company and be at the top. This opportunity will get him there.” I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince, but I know it’s the truth.

She looks up at me. “Yeah, you’re right. Who am I to try to hold him back from his dream?” She resumes painting her toes.

“Exactly. Who would try to keep him from his dream?”

I lie back on my bed, willing away the ache in my chest.

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