Page 48 of Love Wasted

“Cass…” There are so many emotions clouding my mind. I turn her to face me, and she abides willingly. When I look into her gaze, there are so many unspoken words there, and I can’t decipher them all.

She opens her mouth slowly and whispers, “I hate you.”

It’s obvious she can’t hold her emotions back any longer, and the tears slipping down her cheeks contradict the hate I see in her gaze. Placing my hands on either side of her face, I rub my thumbs across her skin to wipe them away. I can’t take the tears, especially hers.

“Dammit, Cass, stop hating me.” My voice comes out huskier than I intend as I slide my thumb gently across her plump red lips, caressing them. She shivers involuntarily. “Just stop hating me,” I beg.

“I can’t.” She breathes deeply as another lone tear slips from her eyelid.

Moving closer to her, my body takes over and my gaze drops to her mouth. “You can,” I tell her with quiet force. Her head moves from side to side in disagreement as her hands come up, wrapping around my wrists. “You can, Cass,” I insist. She shakes her head again, filling me with frustration. “Tell me why then. Let me make things right between us, please.” Desperation—that’s new, too, like the jealousy. What is she doing to me?

Her grip tightens around on my arm. I look into her eyes, and there is a new sort of determination as she finds her voice and vows, “I’ll never stop hating you,” just before she pulls me closer and presses her warm lips against mine. Although she has taken me off guard, my body doesn’t need time to react. Touching her is instinctual, like it’s the key to my survival. My arms wrap around her tightly as I deepen the kiss, and she releases a satisfied sigh as if she’s finally allowing herself something she’s been deprived of for years. I feel it too. Finally.

“Cass.” Her name slips into our kiss.

Abruptly pulling back, she looks into my eyes. “Shut up Pax…just shut up. We aren’t talking about this because this means nothing. Words are only needed when it means something. All this is about is satisfying a curiosity so we can both move on from this push and pull we’ve been doing for years, got it?” She doesn’t blink, and I only care about one thing: fulfilling the need to be inside her.

A slow grin spreads across my face. “Got it,” I concur, sweeping her up into my arms and carrying her to my bedroom. Cass wraps her arms around my neck, locking her lips to mine in a passionate kiss.

We reach the edge of the bed, and I slowly set her down without taking my mouth from hers. Kissing Cass feels so fucking good, I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to stop. Her hands move under my t-shirt, gliding over my stomach and up my chest, the sensation sending chills all over my body. When she moves them back down, Cass catches the hem of my shirt, lifting it up until I raise both arms, breaking our kiss only to pull it over my head. As soon as it’s off, we both begin pulling at the other’s clothes until we’re both standing in front of one another completely devoid of all clothing other than her panties. My gaze roams over every part of her—the ideal roundness of her breasts, the soft curves of her hips, her long, lean legs. Her sun-kissed skin is calling for me to caress it. Cassandra Porter is my kind of perfection. We allow ourselves to take in the other completely before either of us attempts to move again.

“Nothing,” she whispers when our gazes lock.

“Nothing,” I repeat just as quietly. I would say anything she wanted me to in this moment.

Without hesitation, I push her back onto the bed. I lift one of her legs, kissing the side of her foot before moving my lips to the inside of her ankle and up her leg. She moans with each brush of my lips to her skin. When I reach her warm center, I run my tongue over the silk of her panties, enticing my name from her lips as she reaches out, her fingers taking hold of my hair to urge me on. My entire body is filled with so much desire, I might explode. I want release, I need it, and it takes every bit of will I have to keep it at bay. I bite the edge of the fabric, moving it aside with my teeth so I can be closer, feel more of Cass. She whimpers when my hot breath flutters across her most sensitive area. Every sound she makes gets me harder.

My tongue darts out, swiping across her wet center before I cover it completely with my lips, sucking and devouring it with my mouth, inspiring my name to come louder and faster from her until she’s practically screaming it in between moans. I move my hips and allow my body to take satisfaction from the friction I’m creating with the movement of her leg and the pleasure I’m giving her with my mouth. The need to be inside her is more than I can take and I can’t wait any longer. When I pull myself away, we both moan as if in pain. Stopping is painful, but not as agonizing as waiting a moment longer to fill Cass completely. She lifts her hips as I yank her panties down her legs and off her body. I reach over and pull the side table drawer open, take out a condom, and quickly roll it on my long, hard length.

Without a moment of indecision, I’m hovering over Cass, allowing one moment of affirmation to pass between us before I swiftly push until I’m completely sheathed inside her. Both of us say the other’s name in a loud sigh of relief. The feeling of being inside Cass is more than I ever imagined, and as much as we said this means nothing, the intimacy of being this close means everything.

“My god, Cass, you feel so fucking amazing,” I groan as I begin to rock into her, her hips matching every thrust.

“Paxton, please,” she moans. “Harder.”

I give in to her demand. Our movements become more frenzied, and I want the sensation to last. I want this “nothing” with Cass to go on forever. In one quick movement, I roll us over without separating our bodies, settling Cass on top of me. She looks down in surprise.

“You’re in control, Cass. Take what you want,” I say huskily. She bites her bottom lip, rolling it between her teeth. It’s sexy as hell. A sheen of sweat glistens across her breast and my dick twitches inside her, aching for her to move. Delicately placing one hand on my chest, she gently rubs it down my front then back up. When her hand rests at the base of my sternum, her hips begin to rock forward, slowly at first, and then she picks up her pace.

“Fuck,” I grunt between clenched teeth.

With my hands cradled between her hip and thigh, I help lift her up and down on top of me until we’re both out of breath and Cass is crying my name out one final time. Falling against my chest, she lays her ear where my heart is still beating erratically. I lean forward and place a breathy kiss to the top of her head, her hair damp from sweat.

Lifting herself up and looking down into my eyes, Cass’s gaze is searching mine for something; I’m not sure what, but it confuses me. Generally, when a girl and I reach this moment and we look at one another, now clear of our desire and need, the girl searches for something in my eyes they might be able to wrap their hope around. They never find it. I’ve never been able to look at a girl I’ve slept with with anything other than a satisfied look of thanks afterward. Cass doesn’t look like she’s searching for hope though. I wonder if I could I give it to her if she were.

Even if it’s not hope, Cass is still seeking an answer to a question she hasn’t asked. A full minute passes before she leans forward and sets her mouth against mine, lingering without moving, then gingerly she’s coaxing my mouth to surrender. I shut my eyes and pretend I gave her the answer she was looking for. Then, just as fast as the kiss began, Cass ends it.

“Good night Pax. That was…even better than I imagined it would be.” She pushes herself up and starts picking her clothes up off the floor.

Sitting up, I ask, a little dismayed, “Are you serious?”

Her perfect body swivels in the doorway; her clothes cover her, and an eyebrow is quirked up on one side. “Yes, I’m serious. It was incredible, but it can’t happen again,” she announces with a sort of detached look in her eyes.

Fuck, is she serious?I can’t tell. The night that transpired between us means nothing more than satisfying a curiosity to her. The question now is how I feel about that surprising little fact.

Do I feel the same? Or do I want this to happen again?

Before I can even respond, she’s gone. Cass and I had sex, it was unbelievable…and she left me alone immediately after.

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