Page 29 of Love Wasted

Past

Cass: Age 18

Paxton: Age 20

When I step through the door of my apartment, I stagger over to the sofa, exhausted and slightly intoxicated. I snuck out of Bobby’s party thirty minutes before the clock struck midnight. I whooped and hollered then say my goodbyes. It’s an every year thing on New Year’s because I don’t do the kiss.

It’s one of my rules to live by—never kiss at midnight because it never leads to anything good, and more often than not, it ends with expectations. I don’t do expectations either.

Reaching for the remote, I push the power button and begin flipping through the channels. Before I know it, I’ve watched nearly the entire two hours of When Harry Met Sally. Laney loves this movie, and my friends would never let me live this down.

I glance over at the clock; it’s getting close to midnight back home. I’m going to call her.

Searching around for my phone, I finally find it on the floor next to where I’m lying on the couch. I quickly tap my favorites and find Laney’s number then hit the call button. It rings and rings and just when I’m about to hang up, a singsong voice flutters drunkenly into my ear.

“Laney’s phone, Happy New Year!”

She sounds happy and bubbly. It’s been a while since I’ve heard her voice, and she still sounds the same, which I guess is a dumb thing to think. I try to picture what she looked like when I left two years ago for school. With that nearly white-blonde hair hanging well past her shoulders in waves and an athletic, five-foot-nine-inch frame with tawny skin, she’s hard to forget.

“Cass, is that you?” I ask, although, I know the answer to the question.

A giggle. “Who is this? Wait, don’t tell me, let me guess. Say my name again.”

I can’t help smiling. “Cass.”

There’s silence on the other end of the line. “Oh, fuck.” That word coming out of her mouth makes me laugh. “Paxton?” There’s a certain reluctance in the way she says my name.

“The one and only,” I tease. “Happy almost New Year, Cass.”

A long pause. “Happy almost New Year, Pax.” Her voice isn’t quite as bubbly as it was when she answered the phone. “Let me find Laney, hold on.”

I don’t know why, but I stop her. For some reason, I want to talk to her more. I was missing home and thought I wanted to talk to Laney, but strangely, speaking to Cass instead feels exactly like what I need. I’ve missed her too…such a strange revelation, one I’m not going to explore.

“Wait, Cass,” I say, my voice unusually desperate. “Tell me what’s going on. What have you been up to?” Again, another long pause. More silence. “Cass? Are you still there?”

“Uh, yeah…yeah, I’m here.” She pauses once more. “Not much, just school. Normal life of a college student, you know how it is.” Her voice sounds a little less hesitant.

“That’s great. What about Laney?” I still feel a little in a liquor fog.

“Let me get her and you can ask her yourself.” Cass sounds a bit relieved at the prospect of getting off the phone with me.

“No, you know how Laney is, she won’t tell me how she really is. You tell me.” I feel a bit desperate to keep her on the phone.

“Uh, okay, well, Laney is Laney. You know her, always barely escaping trouble, testing the waters, but she always ends up on top.” She laughs, letting her guard down a little more.

Laughing with her, I say, “Yeah, that sounds about right. You two were always walking a fine line.”

“And you were always butting your nose into our business. It has been different without you here.” Her words sound a bit sad.

“Yeah, it’s definitely not the same now that I’m not chasing after you two. I’ve been in a lot fewer arguments over the last couple of years.”

We continue to talk, taking turns catching the other up on our experiences at school. Cass tells me about our families’ Christmas celebration. Then she tells me more stories I don’t get from my phone calls with my parents or Laney. It makes me miss all of them even more, but my life is meant for more than staying where I was as who I was. I needed to leave home to find out if my dreams were attainable.

“This is nice,” I tell her after a while.

“What’s nice?” she asks, the sounds of chaos starting to grow louder somewhere near her.

Suddenly, I hear another voice yelling close to the phone. “Babe, it’s almost midnight!” There’s a rustling commotion through the phone.

“Cass?” I shout her name into the phone.

“Pax, I…” Her voice becomes muffled.

Three…two…one!I hear shouts of celebration through the phone.

“Cassandra, I want my kiss! Hang up the phone!” a male voice carries through the phone and I hear a giggle. Bubbly Cass is back—I’d recognize that laugh anywhere.

She’s gone, and I hear the distinct sounds of two lips meeting.

“Happy New Year, Cass,” I whisper into the phone, knowing she most likely can’t hear me. I hang up and begin channel surfing again.

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