Page 56 of Zade (Den of Sin)

Wooden Paddles

Worship (Body/Cock)

Wrestling

ChapterTwenty-Eight

ZADE

I walk back into my office to find Amira hunched over with the paperwork on her lap, crying. Not just a few tears, full-on sobs. I ignore the pain in my chest and rush to her, kneeling in front of her. I ask, “Baby what’s wrong?”

She shakes her head, “This is what you want. I can’t do this, Zade. I’m sorry. I can’t be with you like this,” when she gets up to leave, I quickly stand and grab her arm, “We are going to talk and then if that’s what you decide, I’ll respect your decision.”

Instantly I know something triggered her but I don’t know what. There is no way I’m letting her walk away from me without an explanation.

“There is nothing on this list, I’m willing to lose you over. Fucking nothing,” I say as I lift her into my arms and walk over to the chair behind my desk and sit down with her on my lap. She is so tense, I stroke the strands of her hair, “Talk to Daddy. Tell me what’s upsetting you so much.”

“You want to give me to other Dom’s. And make me watch you with other women?”

Fuck. I didn’t explain this list well enough to her. I did tell her earlier I wouldn’t share her. Perhaps she thinks this is different. I don’t know but I should’ve explained this more thoroughly. After all, she’s not a seasoned submissive. Any woman that had submissive experience would have realized this list is not everything I want. Many of the things on this list would be hard limits for me.

“Baby girl, this is a list of things that someone might choose to partake in. This is not my wish list. I will never allow another man to touch you. I will never touch another woman. The bold items are things I would like to do with you. I’m sorry for not explaining this better. You are such a good submissive I forget sometimes that you aren’t experienced. Forgive me.”

She raises her gaze and stares at me with red teary eyes, “I’m sorry. The thought of forcing myself to let other men touch me makes me want to take bleach to my skin.”

I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight, “Amira. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I would never hurt you intentionally. Please forgive me. I promise I’ll do better.”

When she sinks into my chest, pressing her face against my skin, my panic begins to subside. I don’t even know how to handle everything she makes me feel. Love, desire, and gut-wrenching fear are only a few of the many emotions I now deal with constantly. I know Amira could snag any man she wanted and why she has chosen me I’ll never understand. I’m a confident man but she’s eighteen. What she wants with a forty-two-year-old man I can’t see. There are few things I won’t do to keep her happy.

Gently grabbing her chin I tilt her head back, leaning down I kiss her softly, “I will never want to share you. I will never want you to share me. Every time I touch you it will be consensual. If you revoke your consent I will not lay a finger on you. But we need a new rule, for your safety.”

She doesn’t speak but her gaze is on mine so I know she’s listening so I continue, “Bathing your skin with bleach is not acceptable. It’s dangerous. I cannot allow it, Amira. If you are feeling the urge to use bleach, I need you to come to me. You don’t have to battle these demons alone. There’s strength in weakness, let me help you weather the storm.”

Amira reaches up and cups my face, “Zade, I love you. Not a little. I really love you.”

I chuckle, “I love you too, baby girl.”

She wraps her arms around my neck, “I promise I won’t. I haven’t bleached since the night in the shower.”

Amira has been in therapy for this compulsion and I’ve tried to not push her into talking about it when she might not want to. I’ll be damned if I sit back and let her harm herself. More than anything I want to demand she write their names down so I can have them dealt with. In time, I probably will but I don’t want to push her too far right now. The first thing I want to be sure of is that she’s okay. Punishment to the assholes that touched my girl is secondary.

“Why do you look angry?”

I kiss her on the forehead, “Because I am but not with you. I’m furious that men touched you without your consent. You were a fucking child. Pedophiles should not be allowed to walk the earth.”

Running her fingers through my hair she speaks low, “Most of the time I’m okay. It was just the idea of forcing myself to do that again made my heart hurt. And then I was disgusted with myself for considering it for a moment if it’s what you wanted. I want to please you. I need to.”

I take her face in my hands and stare at her earnestly, “Amira, you do please me. However, you fucking another man would not please me. It would send me into a murderous rage. I expect you to follow the rules, and be a good girl. However, I never want you to be someone you’re not. You please me by being you.”

“And by letting you fuck me?”

I grin, “I do love fucking that pretty little cunt.”

She blushes, “Such a way with words.”

Rising out of the chair, I hold her in my arms, as I walk out of the room, “Where are we going?”

“I’m going to take care of you for the rest of the night.”

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