SIXTEEN
Kai
“Just perfect. Really excellent. That’s a wrap for now. Let’s take fifteen.”
At George’s approval, I untangle my fingers from Sophie’s and crawl off her.
For the last hour, I’ve been battling with two voices in my mind. One is rational. The other is quite the opposite. I’ve been trying to imagine how William would feel making love to the woman he so desperately wants for the first time, while simultaneously trying desperately not to actually picture myself doing the same with Sophie.
I’m William. She’s Elaine.
I told that to myself, over and over again as we practiced the scene, over and over again.
As I pretended to bury myself inside her, over and over again.
It was enough to drive any man insane.
I’ve performed scenes like this before. I can usually distance myself from the intimacy and recognize it’s just a job.
But Sophie is gorgeous. She’s soft and smooth and perfect. And even though I’m allowed to touch her, she’s untouchable. She’s tempting like a molten chocolate cake, and I’m permitted to smell it, but not taste it. I can touch her, but I can’t have her. If Sarah and George weren’t here, I would have had a hard time not going off script and kissing my way down to her thighs, just to feel every inch of her skin.
I’m losing control. Long Island Kai is trying to claw his way back out from within me. He sees Long Island Sophie, and he wants her just as badly now as he did then. Maybe more.
I need a minute…and a cold shower.
But a quick break will have to do.
Sophie is quickly pulled away for a costume fitting, so I sit on my own and pretend to study my script, but all I really think about is the length of her petite body pinned beneath mine.
I haven’t slept with a woman in over six months, and being asked to simulate sex with someone as tempting as Sophie brought me to the shocking realization that I have less control over myself than I originally thought.
I’m glad to wrap on the scene for the day because my restraint is wearing thin, and I’m starting to run out of mental distractions to keep my desires…well…restrained.
But we’ll start previews for the play next week, and that means I’ll have to perform this scene again and again…for months.
I curse the men from her past who neglected and hurt her. Because it was those men who left her in front of me now, desperate to be adored.
I want to adore her. I want to show her she is worth so much more than she got from that jerk who mistreated her. I know I can show her that, but I also know I can only offer her half of what she’s looking for.
I can play the game. I can take her out to fancy dinners, dance with her until she’s clinging to my arm from laughing so hard, bring her back to my room and show her what it means to be truly taken care of… But I can not fall in love with her. I can not—will not—let myself be dragged into that trap again.
I remember lazy Saturday mornings at Heather’s apartment. I’d sneak up behind her in the kitchen and plant a kiss at the nape of her neck, which she always left exposed for me because she knew how much I liked it. She’d jump half a meter off the ground, giggling and spinning around to pull me into her arms, forgiving my surprise attack immediately. She left me handwritten notes taped to the bathroom mirror when she had to leave for work first. When we were alone on quiet nights that were made for secret whispers and caresses, she looked at me with her eager, affectionate gaze like I was the only person in her world. And when she told me she loved me, I felt a thousand emotions at once, because I loved her too. Everything I did, everything I thought, and everything I felt revolved around her. I didn’t protect myself at all. I didn’t think I needed to…
But it all came crashing down around me. The pain of her betrayal is too hard to imagine bearing again. It’s like touching a hot stove for the first time and learning to never go near it again. It isn’t worth the risk just to see if it will burn again on the second try.
Because it will.
I know Sophie even less than I knew Heather. There’s no way I can trust her not to do the same. And more importantly, I have to remember that I promised her. I promised Sophie I wouldn’t make another attempt, not even in a casual sense. I promised to keep my distance and remain only as a friend.
So, if nothing else, I will respect that.
I’m attempting to study my lines, but as I turn the page of my script, I sense I’m no longer alone. I look up to see Sophie sitting across from me. She grins as she bites into a bright red apple. It’s the same grin she wore when we finished our scene.
“What’s got you all smiley?” I peer at her with a smirk of my own, trying to blink away my troubled thoughts.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs, licking a piece of apple from her lips.
“So, was it really that bad?” I raise an eyebrow.