Page 193 of Blood of the Stars

His head jerked back, his smile fading.

“You were willing to kill Durriken if it meant saving hundreds more lives.”

He shook his head and held up his hands, but she grabbed his hands and spoke over his arguments.

“If Mayvus brands me, she won’t hesitate to use me to kill all the rest of you.” She blinked away the tears threatening to spill. “I can’t live with that. You would be saving me. You would be protecting me from a future I can’t live with.”

He winced, and she knew she’d found the right way to make him understand.

“This is the best way you can protect me. You can protect me from myself.”

He turned away, placing his elbows on his knees and scrubbing his palms over his face.

“It shouldn’t come to it,” she said, scooting closer and placing a hand on his back, “but if it does, you’re the only one I trust to follow through. It has a higher chance of success than Sylmar’s backup plan anyway.” Every muscle in her body tensed until he turned to face her, his grave face suddenly years older.

“How can you expect me to make a promise like that?” he asked.

She bit her lip. “I don’t expect you to, but I hope you will.”

He closed his eyes. Aeliana studied the log they sat on, tracing the curve of the knot between them.

“Can you at least promise,” she asked, “that if it looks like there’s no other way, that if she’s going to use me to kill the others, that you’ll seriously consider it?”

He let out a long breath and opened his eyes. “If it’s the only way for me to stop Mayvus from using you to kill…” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Then I will kill you first.”

She slumped over with her relief. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He wrapped his arm around her and tucked her head under his chin, sending a new sort of warmth straight to her belly.

“Don’t expect me to say you’re welcome.”

Gaeren could hardly look at her the rest of the morning. Sylmar gave some sort of rousing speech that Aeliana barely heard, then had her step on a stump next to him and raise a fist in solidarity. The crowd of men and women cheered, but instead of feeling bolstered, she felt sick, wondering how many would return that night.

The majority of the troops were heading south in multiple waves, making a wide berth along the coast of Vendaras to approach the fortress from the southeast. One group would be splitting off for the western gate while the other settled at the eastern gate. Aeliana’s group would be leaving last, as they planned to watch the eastern gate get breached before making their way through the dungeon’s entrance.

Aeliana smoothed down the ill-fitting black leather uniform and its mauve vest. She strapped on her bow and quiver and mounted her mare before lining up with Sylmar, Cyrus, and Velden, her hands shaking against the reins.

“You could still stay here.” Aeliana leaned over toward Cyrus. “The prayers you offer up will likely be as effective as your sword and far less dangerous to your health.”

“I could,” Cyrus said. “But when we get the golden arrow and I return home, I would never hear the end of it from all my older brothers.” He urged his horse forward, joining Kendalyhn, Lukai, and Holm in the front. He should be safe enough with three experienced fighters, two of whom were progenies. Aeliana almost convinced herself it was true, but then she remembered Gams on the floor of the Stargazer, her body writhing in pain.

“If you convince everyone you care about to stay back,” Sylmar said, “none of them will be there to help you.”

“And none of them will be there to get hurt by me.” Aeliana’s mare pranced uneasily, likely sensing Aeliana’s nerves.

Velden sent a squirt of water in her direction. “Most of us have been risking our lives for far less noble causes since before you were born.”

Marnok, Jasperus, Iris, and Orra rode past, Orra still looking too sickly to come along, but, like Cyrus, she refused to be left behind. Seeing them all in the uniforms of Mayvus’ soldiers was like having strangers in camp. The red on black held a foreboding quality that left her on edge. She focused on the purple armbands, counting them all off.

She watched as Gaeren said farewell to his men, charging Larkos and Riveran to look after the young sailors while Gaeren came to protect—or kill—her. Every man and woman prepared to march bore a purple armband. After delivering uniforms the night before, Felk and his clan had left to spread the word among the clans they’d joined, promising to meet Aeliana just outside Mayvus’ gates.

Now she nervously wished they’d agreed to travel the rest of the way together.

Gaeren was the last of their dozen to mount up, and he took the final spot next to Aeliana.

The beauty of the surrounding land belied the darkness Mayvus’ fortress held. With summer fully underway, the rolling fields of grass and warm babbling brooks hinted at a tranquility none of the travelers could tap into.

It only took a couple of hours to reach the coastline, where Velden lifted his nose to the salty scent. As the Sun reached its zenith, Aeliana’s group left their horses behind and trekked another quarter mile, following the coast to the forest dividing the fortress from the sea. From this point, they could see the sheer black rock wall of the Myndren Mountains stretching to the sky, but the pines blocked their view of the nearby fortress walls.

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