Page 166 of Blood of the Stars

Gaeren’s muscles loosened with the question, with the permission to talk again. “I’m not sure. Maybe she’d rather I hate her than you? It’s how it felt in the moment. I’m not sure I ever understand my sister’s motivations.”

Riveran’s low laugh sounded forced. “Well, I was sworn to secrecy. Telling you would have been treason.”

Gaeren frowned. “Treason against my parents? Or Enla?”

“More likely treason against you.” Riveran sighed. “They knew you wouldn’t approve of the choice even if I accepted it. I understood the problem. Enla is next in line to the throne. What if her children didn’t become progenies? What would that mean for the future of Elanesse?”

Irritation flooded through Gaeren, not just with his sister, but with himself. Because a small part of him did understand the concern. He’d been raised to believe the people needed guidance from someone with greater access to the Sun’s power. How had he ever thought something like that was more important than individuals? More important than friendships and people like Riveran? It was bad enough that Enla had gone on thinking it. That Riveran had just accepted it.

“She cried for weeks over you.” For once Gaeren’s accusations held confusion instead of heat. Had it all been for show?

Riveran cleared his throat. “Just because we agreed it needed to be done doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.” The other man’s emotions were too close to the surface, the memories rising whether Gaeren meant to access them or not. Riveran’s anguish, the pain searing through his palm like lightning straight to his heart. A sense of being utterly alone, cut off from half of his own self. It mirrored Enla’s pain, drawing out Gaeren’s own memories of his failed attempts to remove her memory, to end her suffering.

Riveran’s memories kept flowing through Gaeren like a dam had been released. Riveran hiding in Gaeren’s mangrove tree for days, then a stranger’s home, with a woman sobbing. Night after night of silent meals while the woman’s belly grew. A tentative smile, the blossom of a friendship built on mutual need. A baby shoved in Riveran’s arms, a sense of responsibility, a commitment to protect.

The visions faded in Riveran’s mind, the sense of time slowing and returning to the present rumble of the wagon as unsettling as always.

“The child isn’t yours.” He’d meant it to be a question, but Riveran had already answered it with his memories.

“Her husband died at sea.”

“But now you’re her husband. And the child is your son?”

“It’s the story we’ve been asked to tell.” Riveran hesitated like the words stuck in his mouth. A lie told so much and for so long it was hard for him to stop. “I provide for her and the child. I will continue to do so until she can provide for herself. Or until she finds someone else. But we never wed. She’s always known I still love Enla.”

Gaeren squeezed his eyes shut even though the blackness was already absolute. Rage tore through him, the need to let it out in some capacity overwhelming in the tiny hidden chamber. The horses continued their slow plod, unaware that it grated on Gaeren’s nerves.

“So you don’t even have a bond mark?” How had he not noticed that in all their time together. But the memories he’d seen made it clear. There was no bond in effect. “Maybe it can be undone. If Enla knew you still love her?—”

“She knows.” Riveran’s quiet words silenced Gaeren. “She was the future queen before she was ever mine.”

Gaeren shook his head in disbelief. “What happened to my sister?”

A strangled laugh escaped from Riveran. “Nothing. She has remained constant all her years. It’s you who’s changed. And you can thank her for that. She saw the way her parents were manipulating both of you into becoming a new generation of oppressive rulers. She knew it would break you. So she freed you.”

His words echoed everything Enla had said, hardening them to truth in Gaeren’s mind. “But she imprisoned herself. She’s become just like them.”

“She would still sacrifice everything for you,” Riveran said.

It was probably an attempt to reassure Gaeren, but it fell short. She already had sacrificed everything for him. Is this what the sprites had meant?

“Despite our bond,” Riveran continued, “I always knew she loved you more. I just assumed she could always love us both—a brother and a bondmate. That’s not something anyone should have to choose between.”

Murmurs came from above, and the horses slowed to a stop.

“I’m sorry.” Gaeren’s words felt too small, too rushed. It would take a lifetime to make this up to Riveran, and even then it wouldn’t be enough.

“You only need to be sorry if you waste what she’s given you.”

The door to their compartment opened, the moonlight bright enough to make them squint. Gaeren found Riveran’s eyes before his gaze settled on the X. Kendalyhn’s admission about what she’d sifted in Riveran’s soul came back to him. “And was that because you stole bread for your family?”

Riveran shrugged and looked away. “That’s what the magistrate said. It’s what Enla told him to say. There were days I had to steal bread because few people wanted me working for them.”

“You two gonna stay in there all night?” Breeve asked, yanking on Gaeren’s elbow. “I thought we were in a rush.”

Gaeren ignored the young sailor, too intent on the parts of Riveran’s story that didn’t line up. “But that’s not why you were caught?”

Riveran shook his head. “No. The man who sold me that book you wanted so badly turned me in for black market trade. Claimed the book had been stolen from him before it was sold to me. That it was a Vendaran artifact meant to be revered in the Sungazers.”

---