“That’s it?” Tamar sounded so indignant he almost smiled. “The meeting was more important than talking to his son?”
“I guess. He called me the next day and said let’s talk. But by then I didn’t want to talk to him.”
“Did you tell your mother?”
“No. I don’t know why my parents didn’t have more children. My mother always says that her books and the dogs and me and my father, maybe not in that order, are enough. But I guess for my father it wasn’t. Every time I see her, I feel like I’m the one cheating on her.”
Gideon had effectively become his father’s co-conspirator. It weighed on him constantly, but until he shared it with Tamar just now, he hadn’t realized how much. He was almost giddy, lightheaded just from talking about it.
“My mother tells everyone that I was the best-behaved little boy until I would get a tantrum. A day after I found out about my father, I went to the ministry of interior and changed my surname. I quit Berdiplast. I guess it was a tantrum, a fit of rage. When I met my parents afterward my mother asked me why, but my father knew. He looked at me and mouthed ‘please’. I said because I didn’t want people to think I was successful due to my last name. What I didn’t realize then and I know now is that changing my name would hurt not just my father. It had deeply hurt my mother, my grandmothers. I broke off with my then-girlfriend...”
“Oh! Was it serious?”
“No, it wasn’t. I went on a six-month around-the-world tour.”
He wouldn’t tell Tamar how many casual partners he’d had on his global rampage. Abstaining in Peaks was a cleansing, so to speak, that he’d sorely needed.
“When I came back to Israel, I decided to try finance. I applied and got into several companies and chose Peaks because I wanted to work with Nathanela. I love being just a Sela, make it on my own, flex my muscles outside Berdiplast. I really like it and I’m pretty good at it. Being correct about a valuation, having foreseen that a share would go up or down, that’s a real rush.”
“You still live in your family’s penthouse,” Tamar pointed out. He met her penetrating stare squarely.
“It’s mine, right? No use pretending that I’m not going to be a very rich man once all my family’s shares become mine. Sela or Berdichevsky, I’m the sole heir. They keep reminding me of that.”
“What do you mean?” Tamar asked.
It was a treat, discussing his family with Tamar, who wasn’t just an objective party but knowledgeable about business as well.
“Both my mother and Savta Paulina want me to get more involved in Berdiplast’s matters. Savta Paulina founded the company. She doesn’t like the new CFO.”
“Doron something, right? Why not? Your share does extremely well lately.”
“She doesn’t like him, he’s a yes-man, she says. She would like you, though.”
“Really?” Tamar smiled at him. Her real smile.
“Yeah...she would.”
Paulina would love the straight speaking, razor focused Tamar, and would appreciate her level headedness and toughness.
The Negev range rose slowly. The terrain was dry, marked by indentations where greenery bloomed on the trail of draining water. It had become mountainous, and a road sign denoted that they were five-hundred meters above sea level.
“Would it make you feel better if you told your mother?” Tamar asked. “If the secret were out?”
“I used to think it was about my mother. But it’s more than that. I always wanted brothers or sisters. Now I have two, and I want to get to know them. But doing that is like condoning my father, which I don’t. What should I do?”
Tamar was silent because she wouldn’t answer with a platitude or try to placate him. He didn’t need it from her. There were no simple answers. Just talking about it was enough.
They drove through the town of Mitzpe Ramon, and Gideon stopped at the bend, right before the descent to the Dead Sea, at the edge of the Ramon crater. They exited the car and Tamar walked to the viewpoint. He came to stand behind her.
“Can I hug you?” he asked. She nodded, and he crisscrossed his arms around her torso, giving and receiving body heat. He laid his chin lightly on her collar bone, sniffing deeply her plumeria fragrance. They stood quietly at the precipice of the out worldly, moon like sight of Makhtesh Ramon. Indigenous Caprinae leaped sure-footedly down the rocky slopes, their half-moon antlers staying visible for long moments.
“Your mother’s heart would be broken. Your father was right in not telling her. And I’m glad you didn’t.”
She was so clear-cut about it. Another, stronger surge of relief washed through him. She condoned his decision.
“I think you were wrong to change your name, but there’s nothing you can do about it now.”
“I know.” It was his one serious regret, but she was right. It was done.