Page 39 of Analysing Her Assets

Shemesh and Giddy both answered Gideon’s whistle, running to the fence barking together.

“Can we take a raincheck on tonight? Something came up.”

“While you talked to my sister? Something came up?” He could feel her eyes on him, but he wouldn’t meet them. His teeth were clenched so hard he could hardly talk.

“Yes, I...I need to go home. I’ll see you tomorrow at work,” he muttered.

“Gideon, talk to me,” she said. He couldn’t. Not when he was so disappointed with her. She should have talked to him, not to her sister.

“Tamar,” her sister called. “Come here, I need you.”

She turned and slowly walked away. She reached Tally, who hugged the shorter woman, and Tamar laid her head on her sister’s shoulder.

This was for the best, Gideon told himself as he led Shemesh home. His mother’s chapters, marked by Tamar, weighed heavily in his hand.

The Red Dress Isn’t Coming Off

(53 days to end of year finish line, 27 days to new position)

21. Tamar

Tamar’s night was shitty. Every couple of hours she’d wake up, swamped with waves of humiliation. She spruced herself up for that fucker, wore her red chenille dress to go to the frigging dog park! ‘Taking a raincheck’, the shithead said and bolted.

He promised honesty, yet he left, offering no explanation. After their first evening together, when he was shy and honest, and held off on his own release, she thought she was falling for him. It was all in her head.

Gideon didn’t text her. She checked her phone every thirty seconds before finally falling asleep and every time when she woke up.

At dinner, she questioned Tally about her talk with Gideon. ‘Nothing much’, Tally had said, ‘I told him that your job was important to us, your family, that you had people depending on you. Psychological warfare, Tally had explained, looking both defiant and triumphant ‘I’m on the T-team, remember?’

Tally shouldn’t have spoken to Gideon, but wow, was he quick to be chased away.

Her sister’s short marriage and her horrible divorce had done their share in making Tamar doubt her judgement when it came to the opposite sex. She had always been very guarded in her dealings with men. Yet with Gideon, she had set down the terms. She had lowered her defenses because this wasn’t, and never would be, a relationship. She had let herself enjoy his compliments, reveled in his passion because they agreed this was just a sex thing.

Then, as easily as he’d convinced her he wanted her, he decided he didn’t.

Cleaning had always been her refuge. After Tally and Eyal left, she wiped around her napping puppy’s puff, then vented her frustration, Karate Kid style, wax-onning wax-offing her French doors’ glass. Both sides. The apartment absolutely sparkled. It should have raised her spirits, but the cleaning ritual had failed her.

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