Page 24 of Owning the Prez’s Ol' Lady

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied, still emotionally shaken up from the encounter.

He gently gripped my elbow then guided me toward the back door.

“Joe, I said I was fine.” But this time I couldn’t mask the emotion in my voice. It broke along with every other part of me.

The second we were behind the building, I collapsed into his arms, sobbing against his chest as he combed his fingers through my hair and did his best to soothe me.

“You’re not okay, baby. I could see the trauma in your eyes. Something about them triggered you, didn’t it?”

My head bobbed against his chest, weak and barely able to keep up with all the mixed emotions I was feeling. He led me over to a bench near a tree and sat down, then brought me onto his lap.

“Shasta, I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t,” I whispered upon a shuddering breath. “It’s too hard to talk about and you’ll hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Shasta. You’re perfect.”

That word was also triggering. I was far from perfect. I was damaged beyond repair, and there wasn’t a single person in this world that could repair me.

“Please, stop being so nice to me. If you knew who I truly was, you’d see me for the monster I really am.”

He lifted my chin, pressing his lips against mine in the sweetest kiss I’d ever felt. “Talk to me, baby. I want to get to know you, the real you. The you that you try to hide behind this mask you always wear.”

I looked up into his ice-blue eyes getting lost in the frosty sense of peace they brought me. His arms tightened around me. The strength and serenity within those big, burly arms soothed every broken part of me for a fleeting second.

“Please, Shasta,” he whispered into my hair. “Let me in.”

The sound of motorcycles revving in front of the building had me clutching him even tighter, and I buried my head in his chest, desperate to be protected by this angel of a man I didn’t deserve in my life.

“Do you know much about motorcycle clubs?” I asked him.

“Just that most are troublemaking assholes who don’t know what the word no means.”

“Well, in the biker world, when a biker claims you, you become his Ol’ Lady. That’s what I was before I came here, the Ol’ Lady of the president to a biker club. I’d been with my man for so long that I thought we’d always be together, and that I’d follow him anywhere. I didn’t realize how dangerous clubs were until I was deep inside one—so deep that I had no way out. Once my man claimed me, I was the club’s property—well, his property to be exact. That’s what women are in the biker world. Fucking property. They don’t respect nor care about the women they claim, at least my man didn’t.”

I stared down at my hands, the metaphorical blood of my ex-lover was suddenly visible again, making my palms feel like they were ten million pounds.

“I’m pretty sure he loved me at one point in his life, but then he caught his brother raping me and he fucking killed him for it.”

Joe stiffened, his arms getting tighter around me. “I would’ve killed him too,” he growled under his breath.

“I thought things would get better after the abuse stopped... but it didn’t.”

“My man’s attention fell on other women, and I soon realized that he had fucked half the girls in the club behind my back, disrespecting me as both his partner and Ol’ Lady. Shit like that isn’t supposed to happen in biker clubs. Ol’ Ladies, especially the Prez’s Ol’ Lady, are the highest in the club amongst girls. But the girls in the club didn’t respect me, and fucking my man became a game.”

Joe’s hand was enormous and my petite one barely fit in his palm. He brought it up to his lips and gave it a kiss.

“I tried to take my own life once or twice, but never could pull the trigger. I was weak—he made me weak. But then all that changed when his VP took an interest in me. Suddenly, all the attention I was craving was being given to me by another man, one that truly showed his devotion toward me.”

He loosened his grip.

“Then things got crazy. One of the other members caught us together, and suddenly I was working my way through all the officers of the club. I became tangled in this insane web of deceit and sexual exploration... and then it all blew up.” I stared at my hands no longer in his, and could feel the rigidness of his back stiffening with judging uncertainty.

“During this time, I was raped by a rival MC, watched people close to me die, and learned how to defend myself, even if it meant taking the lives of others. That club turned me into this fucking monster I am. That’s why I’m running, Joe. I’m running from the people who corrupted and controlled me, and turned me into this...”

Emotion quaked through me. Every part of me was breaking by the second. I was literally ready for someone to handcuff me and take me away, pardoning me from this internal damnation that I was always fucking in.

He remained silent, stewing over my words... judging me... damning me with his eyes. The one person who looked at me like I was this perfect porcelain doll, was now seeing what was hiding beneath the surface. The monster... the murderer.

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