Page 9 of The Gift Of Life

A paramedic rushes out of the house towards the ambulance, and I grab his arm.

“That’s my wife in there. Is she okay?”

He sighs and stops walking. “We’ve got a pulse. She’s as stable as we can get her in the field, but we won’t know of any damage until she’s seen at the hospital. You can come in the ambulance with her when we’re ready to go and we’ll go over anything we can.”

I look over at Harper’s parents, and they give me their blessing to go with her.

“We’ll follow behind. Stay strong, son. Stay strong.” Harper’s dad squeezes my shoulder, and tears fall down my cheeks.

I should have seen this coming. I should have taken leave. I should have demanded that she get help. This is all my fault. I could have potentially allowed my wife to take her own life. What kind of a husband am I? I’ve been too busy moaning and bitching about our lives falling apart, and now this has happened. If Harper dies, then I’ll have nothing. My life is nothing without her.

A stretcher is pushed out of the house, and I rush over and grab Harper's hand in mine. Her skin is deathly pale, her eyes are closed, and her body looks so small under the white sheet.

“Please, baby. Stay with me. I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

The paramedics load Harper into the ambulance, and I stand back to give them room. Carl comes over to me, throws his arm around my shoulders, and slaps my back. “I’ve told work what’s happening. Just concentrate on you and Harper. I hope she pulls through, pal. Call me if you need anything.”

My throat suddenly feels dry. No words are forming in my mouth. I manage a nod, and how I even managed that, I don’t know. I feel numb.

“You can come in now, Drew.”

I climb into the ambulance and sit in the seat the paramedic points to. I put on my seatbelt and take Harper's hand in mine. I twirl her wedding ring around her finger and try to reminisce about any moment other than this one right here.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” said the registrar.

I take Harper into my arms and bend her backwards, making her giggle. Our mouths meet, and for the first time as husband and wife, we seal the deal with a kiss. Our mouths become one. Our tongues duel. My hand caresses the side of her delicate face. I never thought I could feel as happy as I do right now. This moment completes us. Two halves of a soul connected as one.

“Drew, let me show you to a family waiting area while the doctors work on Harper,” says the paramedic, as he helps me out of the ambulance.

I watch my wife being rushed into the hospital and through doors that I can’t enter. Could that be the last time I see her alive? That very thought is soul-destroying because I can’t live without her.

***

“Mr Duncan... Mr Duncan.” My name breaks through the fog, and I straighten up quickly.

It takes me a few seconds to realise I’ve been in a daze. I have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for an update. It feels like hours ago that the paramedic squeezed my shoulder sympathetically before he left me staring at four walls.

A doctor is kneeling in front of me, his hand is rested on my shoulder.

“Sorry. That’s me. Is there any news?”

“Follow me.”

I stand and follow the doctor. He escorts me into a smaller relatives’ room that is just big enough for me and him and closes the door.

“My in-laws are somewhere. They were following the ambulance.”

“I’ll see if I can find them when I leave here. Parking is a nightmare at this time of day.”

I nod. I’ve been here more times than I can count through work and always count my lucky stars that I could park in emergency parking kept for police and ambulances. “Is Harper...” I can’t bring myself to say alive.

“She’s stable. We’ve pumped her stomach and she’ll be sleeping for a while. I’ve read her file and know she’s been through a lot lately. Has she been offered any professional help to help her deal with the grief?”

I shrug. “She was offered it. She declined. She’s fallen into a dark abyss. It’s got worse over the last two weeks, but she wouldn’t let anyone in. She wouldn’t go to see her doctor; we were all getting on her nerves. Why did I take no for an answer?”

“Can I call you Drew?” I nod. “Do not blame yourself for any of this, Drew. When a loved one is going through hell, all we can do in the moment is be there for them. Someone needs to want help to gain anything from it, and from what you’re saying, had you got Harper professional help, then it probably wouldn’t have stopped what happened today.”

Even hearing the doctor say that doesn’t erase the guilt I feel.

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