Page 84 of The Ones We Fight For

The day dragged on. Everyone in the house moved about like zombies without souls or personalities, just lifeless creatures filled with the pain of loss. Walker desperately tried to take the day in a better direction. He bought cupcakes and attempted to scrounge together a family movie night. All of it was unanimously rejected. The cupcakes sat on the counter untouched, and the TV was stuck on a channel that only played As Seen on TV product commercials. The silence was deafening and becoming too much when Walker finally gave up the fight and retreated to his room, hiding what he had purchased earlier from the kids’ sight.

The door to his room barely shut all the way before he crumpled to the ground, the pressure building to a new height as he crawled over to lean his back against the frame of his bed—what used to be their bed.

Breathe. Just breathe.

Focusing on the bag under his arm, he dropped it to the floor and stared at it, trying to regain his sense of self. Tears were starting to fall down his face freely and he couldn’t help but feel the overwhelming desire to give in for once, to let the temptation consume him. He was gasping for air when a knock came at the door and Pearl’s voice called from behind it.

“Uncle Walker? Are you all right?”

“Uh… yeah,” his voice cracked in response, unable to hold back the emotion through short breaths. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

No response came from behind the door, so Walker choked back a sob and hit his palm against his forehead repeatedly to try to force his anxiety into submission. Someone might eventually come in and they couldn’t see him like this.

Getting up off the floor, head spinning out of control, Walker grabbed the bag off the ground and stumbled over to his bedside table, tossing it into the drawer and throwing it shut before he fell into a heap on the ground. The edges of his vision were starting to darken with a blurry shadow, sucking him under. He fought to breathe, but the weight of everything was crushing him, his throat too constricted.

The struggle to gain full control over his body felt like it lasted an eternity. It could’ve been seconds, minutes, or hours of fighting before he was too weak to wrestle with his mind anymore. Too tired of constantly fighting what felt so much stronger than him.

He finally let it win.

And everything went black.

Chapter 31

Walker

“Walker.”

A soft voice called out to him. It was soothing, almost angelic.

Am I dead? He fought to regain consciousness, floating in the dark room behind his eyelids.

“Walker, listen to my voice, okay?”

Someone was stroking his hair. It felt good, comfortable—the same way the new weight draped across his arm felt. It replaced the feeling of his heart being strangled, a good kind of pressure that left a tattoo of warmth across his skin as it drifted up and down in a soothing wave of motion.

“You’re in your room. Can you feel the ground beneath you?"

It was Talia’s voice, he realized. So he wasn’t wrong when he’d thought it was an angel.

The ground solidified when he focused on feeling it below himself, and his eyes fluttered open. He took several long, labored breaths before reaching up to touch Talia’s hand. She stopped moving it, and he slowly shifted into a sitting position, placing his head between his knees to get more air.

“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke, and the haggard sound that came out felt pathetic. “Who called you?”

“Pearl.” Talia tentatively touched his shoulder. “You don’t have to be sorry. I know what today is.”

“Did they see me like this?”

“No.” Talia shook her head, and he let out a small breath of relief. “She just thought you needed somebody. She heard you crying.”

“Dammit." Walker ran a hand through his disheveled hair and leaned back into the bed frame. “Thank you.”

Talia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing more of her somber face. “Why didn’t youcall me?”

“I’m embarrassed that you keep having to deal with me.” Walker sighed. “I didn’t want to bother you. Especially after I was such an ass on our date.”

“You weren’t an ass.”

“Come on, I fucked up. We both know it. Everyone might as well just get used to me fucking up.” Walker glared down at his clenched fists, frustrated with himself.

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