Page 61 of Endless Love

His expression turns defensive, and he replies, “Don’t be angry. You know how I get with you.”

“You haven’t answered my question. I’m waiting.” What has he done now, and I tap the sides of the bathtub.

He treads a hand through his hair and seeks my eyes, a mix of anguish and apprehension crossing his face.

“When you were gone, I tried to find you. I hired the best in the business. I was a walking ghost, I was desperate, and your absence put me through hell, deserved or not. I felt pain no man, no matter how great his sins are, should ever endure.” Oh, he digresses, so it’s bad, and he continues while I grip the edge of the tub. “When you came back, I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you again. I hired someone to hack the system of the hospital where you had your surgery and . . .”

Anger blurs my vision as I dart to the other end of the tub, water sloshing up over the sides.

“You accessed and read my medical record—a felony, by the way—just so you can sleep in peace. You’ve kept this from me for all this time. All you had to do was ask me and I would have shown them to you. But no, it had to be your way. More proof that you still don’t trust me. Which, let me tell you, terrifies and infuriates me,” I shout, my anger erupting from within me.

His eyes turn to stones, and he snaps right back.

“You can yell and be mad at me all you want, but I’m scared out of my mind about your condition. I won’t apologize. Is it so terrible that I want to take care of you?”

I shut my eyes, and through gritted teeth, I say, “Of course, you won’t apologize because to you, you did nothing wrong. How can I make you see where you were wrong when you won’t see it for yourself?” My anger turns to tears. “I tried to tell you about my surgery, and you shut off, only to find out you knew all along. I don’t understand why you act like this when my medical files tell you my heart is getting better.”

“No, what I know is the surgery you had is cutting-edge, and that patch is still on trial. What I know is your heart is still weak, and I have to protect it at all costs.”

His breaths turn heavy. I press my forehead to his, “I will get better.” He gulps and wraps his arms around me.

“And when I know you’re better, I will calm down, but until then, I’ll make sure nothing jeopardizes your recovery.”

“What if it doesn’t get better?” I hate this uncertainty. He winces, shuts his eyes, and drags me between his legs, sheltering and caressing me.

“Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear that even though you survived, there’s a ticking clock. You’ll get the best care, Bria. Don’t be mad at me. It’s how I cope, and by taking it in my hands, it’s how I gain some control back.”

“You infuriating, stubborn man of mine. Look at me.”

He does, and my heart aches at the vulnerability in his expression.

“You’re the best medicine. Your love is what will make my heart beat in my chest for a long, long time. I know it. I feel it. It’s like it says it will protect me and grant me more years with you than I ever thought possible.”

I grab his hand and plant it on my heart, beating steadily. His lips curve into a timid smile, and the hardness slips from his face. He presses a soft kiss on my scars masked under the tattoo.

“Then I’ll believe it too.”

We finish washing each other, all tension gone. He’s the first to step out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his hips, leaving me to get ready for the night.

I apply makeup, drawing a fine line of black on my eyelids, add some mascara, dab a shimmering blush on my cheeks, and put the same red lipstick on. It’s my kind of payback, which always works better than fighting. I smile, thinking of his reaction. Have a long night, Damien, reminiscing about what my red lips did only a few hours ago.

I finish straightening my hair and emerge from the bathroom. The smell of exotic spices invades my nostrils, and I put a bathrobe on and follow the scent of food. I take a seat across from Damien, while he eyes me, not hiding his smirk.

“I like your lipstick. You chose a memorable color.”

“Thank you, I found it appropriate. I’m going for glamorous tonight.” I take a forkful of hummus and he cocks his head, raising his eyebrows.

“And here I thought you were going as fucked.”

“That mouth of yours.”

I shake my head at him, and he winks at me. Damien points his knife at my plate, and we eat some more.

“I was on the phone with both Filip and Chloe. They’ll wait for us in our private section.”

“Were they together?” I ask as I take another bite of hummus.

“I don’t think so.”

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